I doubt that you will ever get definitive answers from anyone. Eventually, it is for you to decide. From my own experience in seeking answers regarding faith, I would offer that you will find what it is you seek.
I don't mean to be cryptic, that is just what I believe. If you earnestly seek reasons to believe, then you will find them. If you seek excuses not to believe, then those are what you will find. One of the biggest hindrances to my own faith was my desire to understand everything. Once I finally realized that I wasn't required to understand it all in order to believe, it became much easier to believe. Like the example I used before, I believe that God created and I don't think it necessary to understand how he created in order to believe that he created.
(I have left some of my questions for a later time when I have been freed from my chains.)
well, it has only been 17 years since pure logic led me to the necessity of accepting faith as a requisite for informed sanity ;)