Know one thing, when the blinders come off and you see the light, you can never go back...and it is very tough to give up a lot of beliefs, icons, and totems to which we've paid allegiance and trusted over many years.
But once you know the truth, that is a kind of freedom in and of itself.
But like you said, I can never go back to where I was. I know what is taking place now. The truth shall set you free.