"Stump Jumpin' Redneck Country:
*I really don't like this country!*
My UPS burned up with the power surges, but it was five years old so it was time anyway.
This was my afternoon/evening experience:
Got everything running okay and went to Carthage to buy a UPS.
After walking around for half an hour in WallyWorld dodging rednecks in cammos with deer and hog guts all over them pulling their 319 pound wives behind them, I finally spotted someone that might be a clerk. At least she didn't have blood all over her.
"Excuse me, ma'am. Do you have a UPS?"
"Uh whut?"
"A UPS".
"We don't have a UPS thang in here."
"I'm not talking about United Parcel Service. I need a Uninterrupted Power Supply."
"Uh whut?"
"One of those things you plug a computer into."
"Uh whut?"
"A computer".
"I thank the manager's got one, but he ain't gonna let you use it."
"I don't want to use his computer. I need that thing you plug it in to."
"Wul, he's got one of those, too, but he ain't gonna let you use it."
"I don't want to use his. I want to buy one."
"Wul, over thar where the light bulbs are, there's some of them, but you gotta have wires goin' to 'em."
"I don't want to buy a wall outlet. I want to buy a UPS!"
"Uh whut?"
"Forget it! Let's start over. Is there a Office Depot close by?"
"Uh whut?"
"Ma'am, you have a Merry Christmas.......and please don't say, 'uh whut?'"
I left and went sixty miles to Longview, finally found an Office Depot and bought a UPS.
I stopped at a filling station to gas up before heading back to Carthage.
I went in, bought a pack of smokes and was going to my truck when this guy with wild eyes walks up and says, "Hey, buddy! Can you come here just a minute?" I followed him to a car sitting by the gas pump.
He said, "That's my car."
I resisted the temptation to say, "Yur whut?", and waited.
He said, "That's my car. In the front seat is my dog."
Again, I resisted the temptation to say, "Yur whut?"
He said, "I was working in South Louisiana today and as I started to come home, I backed into the water. I live over at Rusk."
I resisted the temptation to ask, "Live there or confined there?"
He said, "When I backed into the water, I lost my wallet."
I resisted the temptation to say, "So you had your wallet in the trunk?"
He said, "I had a week's paycheck in that wallet."
I resisted the temptation to say, "Oh, I understand! That's why you had your wallet in the trunk!"
He said, "My wife's not with me."
I resisted the temptation to say, "The only thing strange about that is the fact that you even have one!"
He said, "Could you give me enough money for gas to get home?"
I didn't resist the temptation to say, "YES! GLADLY! Here, take this five! BYE!"
I was never so glad to get back to the rig!
I'm in my trailer with the door locked! I've got to recover mentally before I can go to sleep!
SHEEEESH! *I really don't like this country!*"
Yep, good description of an outing there. I am originally from Gilmer and even as a 5 yr. old I think I was planning my escape. Wally World is a dangerous place in these areas; that is their social outing for the day. How dare you go disrupt them looking for a UPS; for the most part UPS is not their thing.