I agree that it's strange she didn't pursue other family building options earlier. However, having not walked in her shoes, and not knowing anything about her circumstances beyond what's written in this article, I think it's uncharitable and yes, prideful to judge her too harshly. I do agree, though, that this is probably not in the best interests of her child.
As for IVF, let me repeat: you can do IVF without discarding/killing any fertilized eggs. Yes, sometimes embryos may cease dividing on their own, as commonly happens in natural conception as well. This is a sad natural occurance and no fault of either IVF or natural conception.
You can put back only the number of little ones you're willing to gestate and raise (usually 2). If there are additional embryos, you can give them to another needy couple through embryo adoption.
I think it's important to distinguish between judging her actions, and judging her intentions or her soul. As conservatives, we generally believe there is such as thing as absolute right and wrong, in actions, and we don't believe all "choices" are morally equal, without considering what is chosen.
In this case, I'll judge the action - deliberately producing a child, at great cost including the lives of other children, without a father, to be raised by hired help - this action I judge to be flat out wrong.
The mother, I "judge" to be seriously misguided, if not mentally deranged. Charity, in my opinion, would have been getting her mental-health treatment.
This is where the klaxons start blaring, "Back up!" Yes you can do IVF...now stop, back up. WHY? Why do IVF at all? What is the overriding decision to go the IVF route? If it is due to an all-encompassing desire to become a parent, fine! OKAY! Take those tens of thousands of dollars that are about to be spent on what is the mere chance at becoming a biological parent and adopt a child. Don't want to wait two or three years, wading through the legalities of adoption (as if IVF is successful overnight)? Why not become a foster parent? God already has children out there, created in HIS image, who are in desperate need of a loving, nurturing environment. IVF is a prideful attempt to create life in one's own image. I simply cannot see it any other way.