Well, if God reported for any newspaper in our earthly realm, it would be Weekly World News. However, clearly God didn't take the photos ... my mistake, I didn't mention that they were photos of ancient skeletons of Adam and Ed -- fig leaves still in place. I darned near bought the issue just to find out about that pesky Bigfoot's role in the college co-ed panty raid, but didn't have the spare change.
LOL!....were Adam and Ed still holding hands? Say what you will, but the Weekly World News is the most believable "news" journal out there among the news media.
The only time I purchased a WWN is when they ran a cover story of how space aliens had endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger for Governor of Calif.
BTW, wouldn't you love to have a job writing for the Weekly World News?