>>Personally, I wouldn't want a kid I couldn't afford, so I don't have any. I don't see how ppl manage. I wouldn't put a kid in day care, but that's just me. I also wouldn't send a kid to a public school.<<
What? Am I reading a post from someone with self restraint? I don't believe it!
Why don't you want a baby that you can show off to all the relatives after they have hounded you for years to have a child?.......As if they were going to pay all of the costs and dole out the time and energy needed to properly raise the little guy/gal.
When I was in my 20's every dang relative that I had was bugging me 12/7 about getting married. Finally I learned the trick. Don't reply, just put your hand out. When they say, "What?" reply, "Come on, cough up the money. You pay my bills, find me the time to spend with a wife and still let me work 10 hours a day because I want to invest 50% of my paycheck for a few more years.
Amazingly, ask those questions once, they changed the subject and never asked it again! They knew that they were up to their ears in bills and needing time for everything.
When I did get married, at 32 they realized, yup by golly there is two ways for people to do everything. There's the dumb way and the dumber way.
27 years later, my wife and I will take the dumb way, thank you all. My daughters, 24 and 25 have also chosen the dumb way much to the sadness of half a dozen young men who have tried to put a ring in their nose.
I would like to give my inlaws some grandkids, but that alone just isn't enough of a reason to have em, given that, as you say, we'd have to raise em and pay for em and all that. My grandma actually advised me personally not to have kids, because my own homelife was such a mess, she said I'd have no basis for correct child rearing. Maybe that's harsh and negative, but I actually took it to heart. Heck, I was such a mess, it took me an extra 7-10 years after high school just to get my own act together (to the extent it is.) Now I'm trying to take care of my financial needs for the future, plus trying to be ready to provide for my inlaws when they get older. Paying off a house, saving for retirement. I'm in decent shape right now. No debt except for 15 yr mortgage. We hope to have the house paid for by age 50. Both of us are savers, so we have emergency cash on hand, plus investments which we pay into monthly for later use. We drive used cars, we shop at Wal Mart, we don't go out very much. If we had a kid, I think we'd be financially stressed, and I'm sorry, I don't want to live like that. As it is, health or other catastrophe can strike at any time and torpedo what little financial security we have.