Every time I read about couples like this I remember the little old ladies in the nursing homes I have visited who never had any children and have to rely on that lone nephew who lives 1,500 miles away for a family connection.
What is worse is having children with the expectation that they are going to come visit you, and do not.
After working in a nursing home for a period of time, I would suggest that is in some ways more painful.
Also, there are a wide variety of reasons that married couples do not have children, and not all of them have to do with finances or responsibility issues.
Don't you agree that there are some people who you wish had thought a bit harder about whether they were suited to raising children or not?
Are you suggesting that the primary reason to have children is that you will have someone to take care of you when you grow old?
Speaking of selfish motivations.
No family connection is right. Nothing like chopping down the family tree or turning it into sticks with no leaves!!
Yes, but I'm also reminded of the little old lady who was still working as a receptionist at age 75 at a former place of employment of mine....the only reason she worked was to financially support her deadbeat daughter and the daughter's children. I think some of the "best" parents are the ones who choose not to have children because--due to a career, for instance--they know they wouldn't be able to devote 110% of their attention to the children if they had them. I can kind of relate because, although I'm an empty nester now, several of my friends who waited until now to have babies are drifting away--all they talk about at parties, is ovulation and morning sickness (I can kind of understand, since having children is such an all-consuming thing, but I occasionally feel left out nonetheless).
"Every time I read about couples like this I remember the little old ladies in the nursing homes I have visited who never had any children and have to rely on that lone nephew who lives 1,500 miles away for a family connection."
Oh, I don't know. My wife and I have no children by our own choice. We're providing for ourselves, and will continue to do so. However, our family is large and strong, on both sides. We're favorites of our nieces, nephews and, now, a few grandnieces and nephews. We're not so stupid, though, as to assume they'll take care of us in our old age. We're doing that for ourselves.
Deciding not to have children is not necessarily a selfish choice at all. For many people, having children is a bad idea, medically and genetically. Since you don't know anything about my wife and I and our decision, making any statement at all about us would be presumptuous and wrong.
That is one of the most compelling reasons that has occurred to me when I mull over our options. Who will care when we are old? Is that enough reason to change my life now?
NOW I think THAT'S a SELFISH reason to have kids......so that you can have somebody to help you when you get old?? I'll bet your kids will be happy to know that.
And everytime I read an article like this it reminds me of the parents I have to counsel today about how their kid got arrested for this or how the kid got caught with drugs at school, or how the did now live at their home with his seperated life with their 3 kids and we are "supporting them again" and on and on and on. Yep, some people who had kids should never have had them and many who didn't probably should have.
I am a Hospice nurse, who has cared for many dying people with children too busy to be there for the people that gave them life. "I can only come once, when should I plan to be there.?" Gosh, I wish I had God's confidence.
There are even more people in those homes who have children and grandchildren that don't visit than there are those who do. I would think that's a far more depressing feeling.
And having children with the assumption they will care for you when you are old is selfish. Some people do choose not to have kids because they are aware they are selfish people...but not all childfree people are. Everybody has their reasons as to why they do or don't want kids. Children are a never-ending responsibilty and even the best of parents have moments where they resent their kids.