This line should cause you to realize that you, too, are still seeking to put it all together.
The issue remains what the scripture says versus our interpretation of what it says. We -- all of us -- desire so much to be faithful to the Word.
I have no "gasp" here, HD....I know exactly what you're going through. In Christ, X.
On the contrary, I think it's rather plain and obvious. What baffles me is how others do not understand what seems to be a relatively straight forward concept.
This is the way God works in every believer's life. Stepping out of the Calvinist/Arminian message for the moment, God knows our strengths and weaknesses and He provides the right conditions for us to flourish as much as we possibly can.
Saul was no different then you or I. When Nahash the Ammonite came and besieged Jabesh-gilead all the men of Israel wept. But God empowered Saul and Saul knew what to do by Gods Spirit, and under Gods power rallied the troops for a military victory.
God works just the same way in you and me through the gifts and talents of the Holy Spirit to accomplish His will. And when we dont do according to all what God would prefer us to do it GRIEVES the Spirit (Eph 4:30) which is the same as saying WE grieve the Father. This is no different from God grieving (or repenting) over Saul in 1 Samuel.