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What Japanese Women Want: A Western Husband
The Christian Science Monitor ^ | December 6, 2004 | Bennett Richardson

Posted on 12/06/2004 9:12:18 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece

TOKYO – The Japanese government wants women like Taeko Mizuguchi to get married and start doing something about the nation's plunging birthrate. But she's not interested.

At least, not if her prospective husband is Japanese.

A growing number of Japanese women are giving up on their male counterparts, and taking a gamble that looking abroad for love will bring them the qualities in a partner that seem rare at home. Mr. Right, as the hope goes, is often an American or European, a man appreciative of a wife's career and more of a partner in daily tasks.

"They treat you like equals, and they don't hesitate to express mutual feelings of respect - I think Western men are more adept [at such things] than Japanese men," says the 36-year-old Ms. Mizuguchi, who works at a top trading firm. "They don't act like women are maids - I think they view women as individuals."

Underscoring that Japanese women are losing hope with the local boys, dating agencies to help snag a Western husband have sprung up in Tokyo, some with branches in the US and Europe. Such companies rigorously vet their clients, screening for education, family background, occupation, and life goals.

The kind of women who sign up for such services include doctors, lawyers, and other professionals - women who have delayed marriage to concentrate on careers and who aren't keen to give up hard won gains to become a housewife, as many Japanese men expect.

Japanese women have come to consider traditional marriage roles as "disadvantageous in terms of time resources - they have to carry the burden of domestic chores as well as lose their free time," says Chizuko Ueno, a professor of sociology at Tokyo University.

Normally, married Japanese women have not only to look after their own parents during old age, but also to care for their parents-in-law. When it comes to raising kids, "they can't expect much cooperation from their partner" because of the long work hours required at many Japanese corporations and because of established gender roles that assume that the woman does the child-rearing, Ms. Ueno adds.

A generation of women who are now entering their 30s don't want to give up single life unless prospective partners are willing to break from traditional gender roles.

Government polls conducted to find out why women have put off marriage until well after 25 years of age - known as a woman's " 'best before' date" - show that economic independence is key to the change. As most Japanese women have their own income, marriage is no longer a financial necessity and women want to find companionship in a husband.

That is where Japanese men have come up short. There is "a wide gap in men's and women's attitudes and expectations toward marriage" vis-à-vis traditional gender roles, says Sumiko Iwao, professor of social psychology at Musashi Institute of Technology in Yokohama. For instance, coming home later than your Japanese husband is a no-no.

Having ruled out an old-fashioned Japanese husband, many women here think the solution is a Western man. Indeed, some seem so enthralled with the idea that they are willing to spend thousands of dollars to inspect the wares personally. Of the more than 2,000 women on the books at one large matchmaking agency, about 200 travel to the US or Europe each month to meet prospects.

Sentimental projections have recently been extended to Korean men also, due to romantic Korean soap operas.

In 2003, Japanese women marrying American or British men outnumbered Japanese men marrying American or British women by 8 to 1. The total proportion of Japanese marrying foreigners each year has crept up from around 3.5 percent in 1995 to just over 5 percent. Japanese men are actually more than three times as likely as the women to take a foreign spouse, but this is mostly rural men marrying less well-off Chinese and Filipino women. "Such cases are elderly farmers not popular among young Japanese women," says Yuriko Hashimoto, a local government employee in the remote northern prefecture of Iwate.

To be fair, not all the blame for female angst here can be laid on Japanese men. The government has been slow to enforce equal opportunity laws, and both pay and the glass ceiling in most Japanese corporations remain low for women. Recession has hampered longer maternity leave and other family-friendly policies.

As Japan's fertility rate drops to new lows - at last count it was 1.29, well below levels required for population replacement - the ruling Liberal Democratic Party is anxiously drawing up plans to make it easier for young couples to raise children, through such measures as the provision of cheap public housing.

Mixed marriages in Japan

Japanese men marry:
Chinese 10,242 Filipinos 7,794 Koreans 2,235 Americans 156 British 65

Japanese women marry:
Koreans 5,318 Americans 1,529 Chinese 890 British 334 Filipinos 117

Source: 2003 Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Japan; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS:
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Comment #561 Removed by Moderator

To: TalonDJ
I dumped another because she had a list of issues as big as the day is long and did nothing but play emotional games like 'I am going to treat you like cr@p until you guess what offended me and apologize but I will not tell you what it was because that would spoil the fun'.

LOL! You failed the mindreading test. Reason enough for her to pissed at you.

562 posted on 12/06/2004 1:28:15 PM PST by Fatalis
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To: JenB
Sigh... yes... because all American women are evil and Asian women are inherently loving, giving, and submissive. (It's never because they want a green card, is it?)

No, not evil... It's just like getting a new puppy... It's much nicer if it's already "house trained!"

(Ducking and running for cover!)

Mark ;-)

563 posted on 12/06/2004 1:28:22 PM PST by MarkL (Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too!)
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To: Trasha
Ooh, so angry!

C'mon--I'm starting a group here: Tell Uncle what's the matter....

564 posted on 12/06/2004 1:28:43 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: HairOfTheDog
The true Alpha male would never be an ass.

Or, at least, only to one of the imposters.

You have a very good take on the Alpha male, hair. I can tell that you have had interactions with true Alpha males somewhere in your past/present.

565 posted on 12/06/2004 1:28:51 PM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Kirkwood

Unarmed and money coming out of your pockets?


566 posted on 12/06/2004 1:28:58 PM PST by Hi Heels (Proud to be a Pajamarazzi.)
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To: MarkL

Boy,
Wait until you get further in the thread darlin'.

You are gonna be SO surprised!


567 posted on 12/06/2004 1:29:44 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: Fatalis

Thanks. I have the kind of life I always wanted. I don't ever remember if I wanted to have money. I hope I didn't.


568 posted on 12/06/2004 1:29:59 PM PST by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: marajade

You were taking exception to me saying I dumped her because I could not truly respect her. What else should I have done? I don't date for entertainment.


569 posted on 12/06/2004 1:30:01 PM PST by TalonDJ (FR really needs a singles thread....)
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To: Trasha
You don't have to be. I'm certainly not impressed with yours OR your photo. LOL

No worries, your opinion is pretty much irrelevant anyway. Nice self-descriptive freeper handle you have.

570 posted on 12/06/2004 1:30:04 PM PST by Centurion2000 (Truth, Justice and the Texan Way)
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To: JenB

All American women evil? Nah, I'm sure there's a good one out there somewhere. Gotta be in a country of 250+ million.


571 posted on 12/06/2004 1:30:25 PM PST by Romish_Papist (USAF Security Forces (1994-2003) Soon to be ANG.)
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To: Hi Heels
Hmmm, nice, but you're mistaken: I don't get spanked. I do the spanking.

Spank you very much.

572 posted on 12/06/2004 1:30:26 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: Jaysun
Well there we go folks. The "fit has hit the shan". You could always count on Japanese women to be good housewives, but NO - not anymore. The Japanese women prefer to live "liberated" lives now. I think this is one of the Biblical signs that the Apocalypse is near.

HALF EDDIE!!!! I WANT HALF!!!!

`M-Fufu, the "Zebra Bi$%h"

Mark

573 posted on 12/06/2004 1:30:40 PM PST by MarkL (Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too!)
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To: Cogadh na Sith

Wanna bet?


574 posted on 12/06/2004 1:32:12 PM PST by Hi Heels (Proud to be a Pajamarazzi.)
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To: HairOfTheDog
They haven't met him.

I disagree. The last election was pretty much a referendum on alpha males in the 'blue states'.

575 posted on 12/06/2004 1:32:13 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: MississippiMasterpiece

I dunno... If the Japanese population starts dropping off, they'll just replace it with genetic clones, or cyborgs, or some sort of giant robot race... Or a hybrid of all three... Giant cyborg robot clones! Man! That would rock! At least... that's what I've learned from their movies. :)


576 posted on 12/06/2004 1:34:12 PM PST by PureSolace (A Conservative bases his politics from his morals, and a Liberal bases his morals from his politics.)
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To: pbrown

you'd have to have thrown the pitch at the dugout, with my knees it takes 10 minutes just to get to the plate.


577 posted on 12/06/2004 1:34:28 PM PST by dmz
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To: Hi Heels
Oh, yes....

Yes I do wanna bet who gets the spanking 'in the end'!

578 posted on 12/06/2004 1:34:42 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
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To: PureSolace

OR giant lizards and moths.


579 posted on 12/06/2004 1:35:00 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: Cogadh na Sith

Knock it off.


580 posted on 12/06/2004 1:35:42 PM PST by Admin Moderator
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