Three years after Dick was killed I moved to a middle income neighborhood populated by many mid-level government bureaucrats and school teachers. Most people had at least an undergraduate degree.
My children entered a new school which they said they liked but they also seemed to be a little less enthusiastic about school than they had been. Several months into the semester I had Parent/Teacher conferences. The night before the two older boys came into tell me that they had told everyone that their parents were divorced and they did not want me to tell the teachers anything different.
I couldn't believe it and asked them why they would tell a lie and added that they should be very proud of their father. The younger one started to cry and said that the kids said "daddy was a baby killer" and the older one said "yes,and they said soldiers were pigs and killers so we just decided to say that you got a divorce". I didn't quiz them on the particulars since it wasn't going to change what they had perceived.
I told them to tell the truth,their dad had died because he believed America was a great country and needed to help people make their countries great too. I added that he died to assure that their school chums and their parents would remain free to continue living the nice lives they were living. I left it at that.
The only thing we can change about the past is to PROMISE that it will not happen again. I sincerely believe that the ememies of our country (a lot of them are US citizens currently living in our country) are trying their damedest to turn the Iraq war into another Vietnam. We will NOT let that happen again!
I hope God has blessed you and your family and you have been able to find some peace since the death of your husband. God bless all of our Vets and their families.
MKM