[Luircin]

So. Why were you gay in the first instance?

Why were you attracted to men initially?

Okay, this is a bit painful to talk about, but I should answer. Sexually abused at around age 10 by an older cousin several times. Basically shattered my psyche and just as I was beginning to put it back together, I got taken advantage of by another older homosexual male (Fortunately I have since left him far behind. I should have turned 'im in but I can't anymore since I don't know where he is and don't have any evidence). This was enough to convince my young 16-year-old mind that I was gay and I threw myself into it.

After about 6 months of that, my psyche was shattered again by more abuse from the same guy, and I nearly killed myself. I mean this sincerely; the only thing that saved my life was a desperate plea to God, who I never cared about until then. That's when I became a believer.

But alas, things are never that easy, for I quickly tripped over another stumbling block laid out for me by a well-meaning though misguided person who claimed that one could be homosexual and Christian at the same time. Being only an infant in the faith, I was deceived again. So I started a romance with another "gay Christian" who I knew, but as we grew closer to God, we realized that the "gay Christian" belief was wrong, to say the least. It took some doing, but we managed to both break free of homosexuality, much to the dismay of our other homosexual acquaintances. There were some nasty fights between us and them, but in the end it settled down and we convinced the three who haven't shunned us to vote for Bush.

And there's the story of the past three years of my life. Probably more than you were asking for.

[DollyCali]

wow.. you really have been through the mill.. and how wise you are to have a handle on it .

God Bless you as you continue to sort through all of this - you are seeking God's guidance. that is the only way for clarity, peace & healing.

You have lots of prayer warriors here at FR. The RATS think we are stupid to pray. But we know better dont we?

[diamond6]

Luircin, I am so sorry about what happened to you. If you ever feel tempted again, there are many freepers here who will hold you up in prayer, including me.

So, never hesitate to ask.

[Happygal]

Thanks...and I appreciate your frankness.

So have you EVER had a natural physical romantic urge towards a female?

[buzzsaw6]

My God bless you and keep you in the palm of his hand. I am saying a prayer for you as I write this.

[isthisnickcool]

In high school my best friends dad became sexually "confused". Because of this I met a lot of queer men. My friends dad started a business down in the Houston Montrose area (for his boyfriend who stole him blind) and as teenagers that place was an experience. I was 16 years old and one thing I learned was that just about all the queers would do whatever they can to seduce young men. Which, in my case, was a bad idea and it cost one a few teeth.

Overall, I found them to be the most self-loathing and saddest group of humans I ever met. On the outside many seemed like they were "gay" but get to know them a bit and they were not happy people at all. Very self-destructive too.

I pray that you find happiness in your life.

Why did I vote for George Bush? To me the election was a classic question of right vs wrong. The answer to the question was easy. For many reasons we are all aware of. The baffling thing is the number of people that did not get the answer to the question correct. On that test they failed. Badly. Maybe next the losers will study harder....

[maine-iac7]

I give you great credit - for it has become almost a sin to want to get out of the lifestyle - and there is no more professional help to get out, even when you want to...

You are obviously very strong. That and your faith will get you through - HE will always be by your side. (see my tagline)

[Happy2BMe]

He whom the Son set free is free indeed!