I know, I know. If it weren't for the freaks on the left and right controlling me, there wouldn't be any children left! I'm that much of a mess. Bless the controllers.
Don't worry. Now that we have taken away all the toy guns/sticks shaped like toy guns/ and even DRAWINGS of toy guns away, not to mention banned the dangerous activity known as snowball fights, we can concentrate on wrapping the children up in bubble wrap.