I really couldn't agree more with you dbdbdbdbdbdbdb. The writer was a little over the top but overall I agree. I am 30 and I do feel that society expects you to get married and reproduce and the people that choose not to are looked at as weird and selfish which isn't fair. There are too many people in this world that shouldn't have had any kids so people that choose not to have them shouldn't be looked upon poorly. It is a decision, no matter what pressures you feel from society. And I also strongly believe that society also makes people feel that to complain or speak honestly about children is to be heartless and a bad parent. I feel honesty is more important. I think a lot of parents try to convince themselves that everything is great by telling everyone that. Don't get me wrong I know a lot of parents are completely happy. I just don't believe that is the way for all parents. It too bad society isn't more accepting of honesty. I think if parents were more honest there would be less people out there that are surprised that raising kids is more hard work than fun.
People who choose to be parents are just as likely to have good and bad motives as those who choose not to. Those who want and have kids are no better as human beings than those who don’t. A lot of people have stupid, egotistical or downright selfish reasons to have or not to have.
So many “proud parents” are extremely insecure people who use their children as a means to bolster their egos. Don’t get me wrong. There are lots of happy, well-rounded people with kids, and because of their love for children, they are blessed in that regard. I’m talking about people who have kids because their friends have them, or because Katie Holmes has them, or because they believed all the lies and hype about children being the be all end all of society. Logistically speaking, we need kids to continue our future generations, and to wipe our arses when we’re no longer able (metaphorically and literally speaking). But that doesn’t mean we all need to. In fact, many of us just aren’t cut out to be parents, or simply have other equally important endeavors in life.
I noticed some posts about parents feeling sorry for non-parents because they just don’t know what theyre missing. FYI those so-called sorry wastes of space that you so righteously pity are in most cases feeling pretty darn sorry for you too. Because there is more to life than pushing out babies, and it’s likely that these people have lived more enriched and fulfilled lives with their significant others, and have looked beyond the boundaries of child-rearing to expand their horizons. In the Bible, God takes first priority as an umbrella to mesh together all worldly joys. Next comes your spouse, and then your children. Many non parents have strong relationships with their faith and with their partners. Unfortunately, our society forgets this and puts kids on a pedestal. So many marriages fall apart because they become mere parents to their children, rather than a functioning, happy couple who, with proper foundational values and love, can happily raise and love children.
But then again, with society pushing young adults to marry and have kids when they’re way too young, this is no surprise. Too many people marry and procreate before they’re ready. Many moms tell me in response to me saying I’m not ready for kids, that “you become ready when you get pregnant”. BS. Most of these moms are shoddy parents who let their kids walk all over them and truthfully seem very unhappy with their circumstances. Ironically, these same moms are the ones who clog up the Facebook newsfeeds with zillions of pictures of their kids, looking for constant approval of their “beautiful little angels”. It reeks of insecurity, but these people weren’t ready for kids. They were still trying to get to know themselves. The push to have kids got the best of them and they are incomplete people. Yet think their kids complete them. No. Their kids fill a void for them and give them the excuse not to broaden their horizons or overcome their fears. They can now live through their kids. Hello people, it’s exactly where Big Brother wants you. Once you have little ones to worry about, you cease to expand yourself. You’re no longer a potential force to be reckoned with. You’re a pathetic rat-racer who will take the abuse from society and accept your position because you have mouths to feed. You will become a bigger consumer with less time to think outside the box and more time to worry about feeding into the corporate system. Charming, isn’t it?
So yes, I went on a bit of a tangent, and as I mentioned before, I’m not referring to the joys of having children IF and WHEN those who do are ready. I’m talking about the false perceptions that we as a society are force-fed, and the consequences that arise.