John Kerry IS Running Eagle!
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During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.
Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however. He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted YES 9,637 times for every Indian issue ever introduced.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.
After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of crap it can't fly.
Q: How many John Kerrys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least four. One to unscrew the old lightbulb. One to simultaneously announce his courageous commitment to replacing the old bulb. One to vote against funding the new light bulb. And one to denounce George W. Bush and America's Benedict Arnold CEOs for leaving everyone in the dark.
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ROFLOL!!!
Q: Why did John Kerry cross the road?
A: He didn't cross the road. He crossed to the middle to demonstrate his grasp of the nuances and subtleties involved in crossing the road, and was still explaining them to the New York Times reporter when the logging truck hit him.
G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."
The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"
Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
Dad's Job
Little David was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the Children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up-fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc.
David was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money. "
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "He works for the Democratic National Committee to Elect John Kerry, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.