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Boy, it's been a while since I've even thought about these jokers. I had totally forgotten how lofty the NCC really is. Here are some of the extremely weighty issues they've tackled:

Boycott Taco Bell
(Perhaps I'm just a degenerate Southerner, but what, praytell, are "Immokalees?")

Boycott Mount Olive Pickles
"Whereas, all people have been created in the image of God, redeemed through Jesus Christ, and called to share in a ministry of justice that shapes our world according to God’s intention of shalom" I mean, we all know that the LORD wouldn't be able to judge ANYTHING without our help, right? Sheesh!

Public Schools = Godly Education
(Well, sorta... We've got to "bridge the achievement gap," which is entirely the fault of Whitey.)

Drug prices are evil
...therefore, we should beg the President to nationalize the pricing policies of ALL pharmaceutical products sold in the USA.

Israel Bad, Arabs good
...as if we didn't see this coming for a bazillion miles.

The U.S. deserved 9/11
(Okay, I'm exaggerating their words somewhat, but they definitely seem to be trying to make the "We had it coming" argument... Jerks.)

We Support The Intifada
(Or I could just call this "Israel Bad, Arabs Good" again. This was in 2000, when Arafart first started his little rebellion... er, I mean Israel unjustly attacked a truly peaceful people.)

Socialized Healthcare is of the LORD
I mean, why should we put ANY faith in Him, when we can just trust a bureaucrat, right?

Save the Trees
...Stop printing Bibles! (It's not like the NCC ever uses them, anyway...)

Landmines are evil
(Oh, I forgot. Only those evil YANKEE landmines are evil.)

I just can't help but roll my eyes through every single one of these atrocities. This group is definitely full of REAL spiritual GIANTS. Sheesh. Paging Bishop Spong... Your spaceship is here.

I'm all for packing up the NCC and shipping them to Canada. Anyone want to organize a moving party for them? ;)

And seriously, if you or anyone you know is a member of a church which supports this claptrap, shame on you. I'm an ex-Methodist because of pap like this. I'm much happier where I am now.

I repeat:
THE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH SUPPORTS COMMUNISM.