1) Loudly denounce President Bush as a "moron," "chimp," "deserter," and "Hitler." Your supporters will cheer.
2) Explain that with your French heritage and language skills, you can do a much better job at taking advice from Chirac and the French on how to run American foreign policy; and how it is arrogant for the American government to unilaterally determine American foreign policy,
3) Denounce the Bush Secret Draft Plan, (btw, this would not be a good time to bring up your own mandatory national service plan for high school graduates)
4) You've already pledged to pull the plug on Halliburton logistical support contracts. Now reach out to the critical women and minority votes by pledging to replace Halliburton with woman and minority owned firms. You could cite the Nation of Islam which already owns security companies.
5) You’ve already explained that having Saddam in power was better than the problems we now face in Iraq. And you’ve already pledged to get us out in 6 months, or 4 years, or whatever. Tonight take the bold and next logical move of pledging to bring back Saddam! Pledge to sign a People’s Peace Treaty, with a date certain for US withdrawal, and the Baathist gunmen will be on our side, they’ll “carry our bags.” America will be sure to understand that this will make it “respected in the world.”
I’m sure others have some good advice for Senator Kerry.
Shoot, maybe they are.
In fact, very good!!!
Somewhere, there's a Democrat strategist writing down your suggestions.
how about some variation of this: the junior Senator wants you to elect him so that he may follow France. I want to elect me so that I may lead America.