3 May 74
Recruit Training Depot
Parris Island
First Recruit Traing Battalion
Company D
FOR FILE
Recruit Fitness Memorandum
Barracks inspection 0430 2 May 74
Recruit Rather was found hiding under the wb6; he had urinated on himself and had his gear piled up in a corner.
Interrogation of barracks personnel revealed that Recruit Rather had been caught masturbating to a photograph of William Fulbright on the cover of Time Magazine.
I will recommend his transfer to the press corps immediately.
/s/
Capt. John H. Rochman, Delta Company
ROFL! Be sure to type it up in Times New Roman, and center the date