CBS BUILDING NEW YORK, NY MEMORANDUM FROM: Dan Rather TO: ALL RE: It has come to our attention that certain individuals wearing pajamas have questioned the quality of our reporting. For crying out loud! Who are you going to believe? Us? Or ten thousand misfits in their pajamas? This seems like a no-brainer to us. We're CBS and you should know better than to doubt us. Signed, |
Hmmm... Looks pretty authentic to me.
So did you type that on a Selectric or a Olympia.
Sheesh.
everybody@cbs.com
tom@nbc.com
petah@abc.com
everybody@cnn.com
lyingbastards@fauxnews.com
mysweetdumpling@kerry2004.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CBS NEWS
NEW YORK
In the wake of recent insulting questions about the veracity of CBS's highly esteemed professional investigation of documents incriminating George W. Bush's service in the cowardly Texas Air Guard, we have been advised by our legal staff that, due to a pending lawsuit against Karl Rove and a certain shadowy group whose only known code-name is "Pajamas" for defamation by misinformation, CBS News will henceforth refuse further comment on said documents which allegedly have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that George Bush avoided serving his country.
In a separate statement to the press, Dan Rather said "This story is hotter than a dish of pecan praline on a dewy August morning. It'll be a ring-tailed habber-jabber once our crack legal team gets to the bottom of it. And I promise that I will never rest until the conniving plots of Karl Rove and the machinations of the secret Pajama Militia are exposed as the menace to democracy that has become more evident than a dung-beetle on a toadstool. Thank you very much."