Now everyone knows that genuine American WhoopAss! comes in boxes, bottles, cans, cartons, chunks, conexes, containers, crates, loads, lumps, portions, etc., - but only French WhoopAss! comes in carafes.
Don't buy French WhoopAss! as it has no body to it. It is very thin. As a matter of fact, the French opened 1,718,539 carafes of WhoopAss! on the Germans when they invaded in WWII and no one noticed. So much for French WhoopAss! Obviously JF'nK uses the French variety.
Getcha' self some genuine, original, American WhoopAss! It's patriotic, potent, just plain fun, and it has the added benefit of scarin' the $hit out of our enemies.
Genuine American WhoopAss! comes in only one flavor, the Metallic Taste O' Fear, that our enemies know so well.
So git down to your store and stockup on Genuine American WhoopAss! - you know you want to!
Good Job! I believe it's safe to take you out of the undecided column.