It has been up for a couple hours & YOU are first.
I have a list of things to do when I win lottery.. & on it goes GabZ for 10,000. & I will come meet you for coffee/adult bev & scrumptious meal (my treat of course)somewhere & put it in your hand!!!
here is a funny. I posted on ATRW also..
CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST ANSWERS
Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the Bible, even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Catholic Elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched nor corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in).
1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
7. Moses led the Jews to the Red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in bibical times.
14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
I'll join you for coffee/adult beverage whether you hit the lottery or not!!!! I just love meeting FReepers!!!
I love the children's answers, especially the mispellings! For the longest time I thought those types of things were just "urban legends" until this past Mother's day when the Kindergarten teacher had each child write a recipe and she compiled them into a "cookbook." My daughter's contribution:
Jacqueline's Blueberry Pie
10 blueberries
3 quarts dough
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon butter
roll out the dough and make into crust. Make a top to the pie. Put in the sugar and butter and blueberries. when the top of the pie is ready put more blueberries on top. Put the pie in the oven. Bake for about one hour at 500. Use oven mitts and take it out. Then cut it into triangles. Then we eat it.