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To: inchworm

To make you feel better ;) From the late night comedy mavens ..

The Secret Service has announced it is doubling
its protection for John Kerry. You can understand
why - with two positions on every issue, he has
twice as many people mad at him." -Jay Leno



"We make jokes about it but the truth is this
presidential election really offers us a choice of two
well-informed opposing positions on every issue. OK,
they both belong to John Kerry, but they're still
there." -Jay Leno



"John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right
shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly
switched positions on Iraq." -Craig Kilborn



"President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You
know what John Kerry calls someone who earns
$822,000? Not even worth dating." -Jay Leno



"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half
the country can identify a picture of John Kerry.
The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the
dad from The Munsters." -Jay Leno



"John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to
the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who
just marries them." -Jay Leno



"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential
candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month
period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500
million with two words: 'I do.'" -Jay Leno



"Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card." -Craig Kilborn


25 posted on 08/05/2004 9:45:05 PM PDT by Libertina (Keep this tag line open for John Kerry: He may need to communicate with a commoner.)
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To: Libertina

FUNNY STUFF!


28 posted on 08/05/2004 9:49:51 PM PDT by buffyt (New Book: "Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry")
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