Posted on 08/05/2004 3:33:03 PM PDT by Vision Thing
As if the dating game weren't hard enough already, now there's a new twist to the age-old practice of pitching woo: More singles want Mr. or Ms. Right to belong to the "right" political party as well. And a slew of new political dating websites have popped up to help people find a pool of like-minded candidates.
If that sounds like preelection hoopla, consider the fact that politics has invaded every other facet of American life in the past three years. It's on TV, in movies, and in mainstream publications. "Who are you voting for?" is becoming an icebreaker for many who feel that the November election is this century's D-Day.
These self-described activists are avoiding mainstream dating services, which don't identify people by political persuasion, in favor of sites such as www.conservativematch.com or www.democraticsingles.net.
While some wonder if these sites - most of which are less than six months old - are just an election-year marketing ploy, the link between politics and dating is real, and experts say it's here to stay.
"We are living in a moment when there are a lot of really controversial and highly political issues," says Steffen Schmidt, a political science professor at Iowa State University. "The country is horribly polarized."
Many people worry about terrorism, casualties in Iraq, and losing civil liberties, he notes, and it's natural to discuss such fears with those we may become emotionally involved with.
This was certainly the case for Leigh Stringer, an architect. In October 2002, she was living in London and became very concerned about recent events back home in the US.She began sharing her thoughts with John Hlinko, a liberal activist she met through Match.com.
Within weeks she knew he was the one. Shared political beliefs "are one more set of criteria that lets you know you're soul mates," she says.
Today, the two, who live in Washington, D.C., are planning their wedding for one week before the presidential election.
They also work together on political campaigns and on ActForLove, a politically oriented dating site Mr. Hlinko started in April. They will spend the first part of their honeymoon "hanging out at polling sites," she says.
That may sound a bit extreme to people who live outside the capital. But many Washington residents say that their dating agenda - stick with people who share your ideology - is slowly sweeping the country, just as an interest in politics has.
Politics has gone mainstream, says Matthew Felling, media director of the Center for Media and Public Affairs in Washington, because after 9/11, people "realized that decisions they made or didn't make have repercussions politically and globally."
As evidence of this new trend, Mr. Felling points to the number of political books that have landed on the bestseller lists in recent months.
"Politics is the new table topic," he says, one that is likely to outlast the current electoral cycle because it represents "an increased consciousness, and that doesn't fade."
But don't let all this talk about values and idealism fool you. Politics may appeal to people's intellect, say experts, but it also has a certain sex appeal.
Politics sexy? Some observers certainly think so.
"When people list what they want in a partner, they often say somebody who has goals and knows what they want out of life, people with strong views who are taking steps toward that," says Tony Sandoval of Terra9 Singles, which operates www.republicansingles.com and www.democraticsingles.com. Members range in age from 20 to 75.
"When you believe strongly in something, that can be a turn-on to some people," he says.
Yet as politics becomes more of an issue in the dating world, that doesn't always translate into same-party dating.
In fact, according to a recent study conducted by iMatchup.com, more than 80 percent of Americans would be willing to date someone with a different political outlook.
A Gallup poll conducted for Match.com also found that 57 percent of singles would consider marrying someone with significantly different political beliefs from their own.
These findings don't necessarily contradict what the niche dating sites have found, says Trish McDermott, a vice president of Match.com. "Our research is telling us that if you're passionate about politics, you need a partner who understands that passion."
Understanding the passion, however, doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same opinions. Ms. McDermott points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as an example of political partisans who are confident enough of their views that they "don't need to have them affirmed in the relationship."
The important trend, according to McDermott, is "the fact that people are talking about politics on dates today," which they didn't do as much in the past.
Jessica Barba and Justin Ziegler of New York find that's true in their relationship. She's a Democrat who works for a nonprofit, and he's a Republican who is a corporate bond researcher.
Occasionally their political discussions will end with, "Well, your sources are wrong."
Still, Ms. Barba says the talks are worthwhile because they have made her more informed about the issues and they "keep you on your toes."
But in the end, partisan politics has little impact on their relationship. "Politics does not define my goals," says Barba, who, like her boyfriend, is a committed Roman Catholic. "Religion is what defines my day-to-day existence and where I am going in life."
;o)
Also, conservative men tend to be more handsome and masculine. :)
First of all, thanks for the compliment. *grin*
Second, on a serious note, think of the conversion possibilities. My father always voted Repub, but my mom voted for Carter (!) for his first term. By 1980, she was voting for Reagan, and now she is a fire-breathing conservative. Look at it as potential votes to be switched...
Funny this should come up: a friend of mine is the recent beneficiary of the fact that all the males in his fiancees group of friends belong to various theater groups and, by her admission, are "all gay."
I joined conservativematch.com. So far, my only e-mail is from a San Diego Union Tribune reporter researching a story on politically-oriented dating sites, lol. She wanted to interview me - I declined. Why help out a leftist rag that never saw a tax increase or gun control law it didn't like?
So right you are. Those who would excuse Bill Clinton's sleazy behavior are not the types I'd want to share my life with. No Carville - Matalin relationship for me!
California is looking more attractive by the minute!
Ideally, husbands and wives agree on basic principles to live by and try their best to follow them. Otherwise, there will be problems which frequently lead to divorce.
Metrosexual ping!
Ping for your enjoyment!
"Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual."
That fact alone is enough for me to remain on the Right!
I agree with your post 100%. If you can't expect some modicum of morality from your partner regarding politics, why would you expect morality in the committment? What would stop them from carrying on extra-marital affairs?
Ping for related discussion to yesterday's article. Enjoy.
I read another thread like this. Basically leftists want to enforce leftist ideologies on others and demand that leftist othodoxy be enforced in a relationship. Its selfish to demand ideological purity in a relationship, but is'nt this typical of liberals? You see the same thing in colleges where professors demand their students parrot their liberal ideas back to them for good grades and failure to do so results in punishment.
I just want to let all the Republican babes out there know that old Exile is happily married. I know it's a crime to have such a handsome and dashing dude as myself tied to one woman, but what can I say. Also Mrs. Exile is mean and scary when crossed. I can't betray a woman who has a black belt in Hurt-fu. So ladies, if you want to undress me with your eyes, there is nothing I can do to stop it, but Mrs. Exile will try.
Personally, I feel sorry for those that would have something like politics as a requisite for marriage or dating. I fear this trend, and things like internet forums for example, are going to do nothing more than divide people. There is less and less 'fair and balanced', and more 'our side vs your side'. It's un-American, and I think, dangerous.
The ones who put conservative rarely state that they limit themselves to conservative thinkers only, and if they do it is never in vile terms.
Great tagline ;)
I would agree with you on that one, especially after seeing the incredible profile you put up. On another site, I had someone contact me and start a correspondence, despite that she had "liberal" down and I, of course, have "conservative". I made wisecrack, with regard to a trip to Barnes & Noble, about Clinton's book and the fact I did not need any more toilet paper. She responded that she hated Reagan and loved Clinton, and this might be a "dealbreaker" (well, duh). I am still shaking my head over that one.
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