Caption: John Kerry in Michigan [DORK ALERT]

Reuters | August 2, 2004

[wideawake]

Caption for the second:

"No lovin' till you sign that check, baby!"

[cwiz24]

Look!! I'm so full of hot air, I'm flying!! WHEEEEE!!!!

[Lurking2Long]

Teresa...please take down this little love note for John E...

[Red Badger]

#1> LOOK AT ME! I'M PETER PAN AND I CAN FLY!

#2> Just make the check out to Kerry-Edwards '04........

[SuperSonic]

"I'm king of the world!"

[agsloss]

This goofball praised "buckeye football" at this rally in Michigan. And he's supposed to be so smart?

Go Blue!

[SuperSonic]

#1 > The headless John F. Kerry

[Numbers Guy]

My favorite Grand Rapids moment, not reported in any of the local press accounts I've seen, was summed up by the American Spectator Online

---

LOST FUMBLER

If John Kerry loses Michigan, he will probably blame it on his joke writers, then Woody Hayes and the mighty Ohio State Buckeyes. But he only has himself to blame. He should have used that several-decade gap between his job in Vietnam and his job of running for president boning up on his knowledge of sports. The Prowler has documented several examples thus far, and over weekend Kerry really goofed up.

To get his Ohio rallies up and rolling, Kerry used a set of jokes to open his events. In Bowling Green, his shtick went something like this:

"If you elect me and my running mate, John Edwards, we are going to give you the courageous leadership you need. We'll take the tough positions, the courageous positions, the tough stands. But there's one tough position I will not take: I am not going to choose between the Falcons and the Rockets" -- this is a local reference to the well-known rivalry between Bowling Green University and the University of Toledo.

"I will say this," he added. "There is nothing better than Buckeye football, period!"

Kerry used this set piece several times in Ohio, to great effect, never mind the waffling with the generality of "Buckeye" football. Was he talking Ohio State University specifically? Or just football in the state in general? Only Kerry knows.

But then Kerry dug a huge hole for himself. On Sunday and into Monday, Kerry hit Michigan, where he attempted to use the same Ohio jokes. Clearly, the sports humor has to be taken out of his hands before he really embarrasses himself.

"I just came here from Bowling Green," Kerry told the crowd to subdued applause. "I was smart enough not to pick a choice between the Falcons and the, well, you know, all those other teams out there. I just go for Buckeye football, that's where I'm coming from."

At that point, before all the boos began raining down upon him, Kerry seemed to realize his error. In an attempt to silent the angry crowd of University of Michigan supporters, Kerry said, "But that was while I was in Ohio. I know I'm in the state of Michigan and you got a great big M and a powerhouse of a team." Then his face, presumably, the Botox permitting, turned Blue.

[Socratic]

T: "Back off Dork-boy, I'm trying to read."

[SouthernHawk]

...And then I spread my hands like this to part the RED SEA...

...Oh, that's different, I thought some guy called Moses did the parting waters thing. I guess that I do want your autograph afterall.

[gopwinsin04]

'Ill never let go Teresa..whoa, Im falling!'

[rabidralph]

Has anyone seen the picture of Teresa in a big straw (nacho) hat that went over her eyebrows? I saw video on Fox yesterday but not any pictures. It was very funny.

[meandog]

(1st photo)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the media, I wish to be like Jesus on the cross...after all, I have a thief like ambulance chaser John Edwards as my right man and a liar like Michael Moore as my right hand man.

(2nd photo)

Proof there is an exception to every rule: In this case, two heads are worst than one!

[meandog]

(1st photo)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the media, I wish to be like Jesus on the cross...after all, I have a thief like ambulance chaser John Edwards as my right man and a liar like Michael Moore as my left hand man.

(2nd photo)

Proof there is an exception to every rule: In this case, two heads are worst than one!

[NRA2BFree]

Caption second pic:

"John, here is the list of things I want you to do today."

[boomop1]

Kerry is an idiot his handlers are sabotaging him.

[Steven W.]

"Let me make a note of that stuff again ... was it 'i' or 'y'? chili ... c-h-i-l-l-y ... boy that was fun! the press really ate it up, pretending we were just like the little people eating at one of those places! now remember, next time, stay away from those soldier type people since they really don't like you"

[hflynn]

Caption second pic:

"John, I just pulled this out of Sandy Berger's shorts!"

[hflynn]

Caption second pic:

"John, I just pulled this out of Sandy Berger's shorts!"