May I ask how you classify yourself within Judaism, and do you have that self doubt you talk about? If you don't want to answer that's fine, I don't intend to pry. This thread is touching on things that have been primary in my thoughts lately, so I'm very curious where we all are coming from.
I'm a Conservative Jew, and yes I have that self-doubt/cognitive dissonance of trying to be Jewish in a secular world.