Don't lose heart. FR does not represent the Catholic Church, in the main.
You will find a far more forgiving and receptive attitude in most parishes. I wish you were here. We have a wonderful program, "Re-membering Church", that takes people where they are, and encourages them to return, if they want, or simply stay and discuss, or vent.
You have lots of venting to do, even if you don't come back to the Church.
I'm sure I've asked before but have probably forgotten ... what parish do you attend? You can answer through FR mail if you don't want to reply on this forum.