[irv]

Missed a couple:

• How did a braindead &^%#$! like you get to be my boss again?
• Web surfing on the job? Yes, I was doing important research ... on the price of ammunition
• Really, the computer is supposed to do that. It's programmed to frustate and annoy stupid people at every opportunity.
• You have a terrific career ahead of you. Management here practically worships the Peter Principle.

[carlo3b]

From New Jersey

A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ...