Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
By now, you all know that lesbian consort consists of practices A, B, C, D, E and F.
Because of her surgery, petitioner can no longer engage in practices B and C within the sacred shrine of lesbian matrimony. She claims the loss consort is worth one million dollars.
However, petitioner can STILL engage in practices A, D, E and especially practice F. So, at most, the petitioner is entitled do minimal damages.
We ask you to award the petitioner 69 cents.
Your Honor, we rest.
I think 69 cents is reasonable since she probably was not worth a million dollars in the practices of B and C.