[The Great RJ]

Of course Monsieur Kerry would have his manservant Nickerson bring him the news on a silver platter and read it to him while he was having his back hairs waxed before his polo match.

[Enterprise]

LOL!!! I forgot about his manservent. The prissy old goof would have "Jeeves" find out what was going on in the military and give him the news with the peanut butter and jelly sammich.