Mark Steyn: Flagging Enthusiasm (Canada's unflyable flags)

The Western Standard ^ | April 9, 2004 | Mark Steyn

[quidnunc]

Canada is officially beyond parody. The latest development in Flagscam is that those Sheila Copps Maple Leafs — the flags needed to keep Quebec in Confederation, the flags only a $6 million Government program could organize, the flags whose $6 million Government program ballooned to $45 million, the flags whose free distribution wiped out the profits of Canadian flag retailers, the flags that no-one in Canada could make fast enough and so wound up being secretly imported from overseas, the flags for which millions of dollars were paid to well-connected Liberal Party middle-men for doing nothing, the flags for which the luckier Grit cronies got paid twice over for doing nothing — it turns out these flags don’t even fly.

On the CBC the other night, Doreen Braverman, who runs Canada’s biggest flag retailer, held up one of the Sheila Maple Leafs. No eyelets, no sleeve, no halyard line for your rope and toggle, no nothing. The Canadian taxpayers paid $45 per “flag” for a “flag” that can’t be flown. If what’s left of our armed forces ever gets round to seizing Hans Island back from the Danish imperialist aggressors and tearing down the viking marauders’ flag, I hope they don’t make the mistake of taking a Sheila $45 special to replace it with. One doesn’t want to think of the lads from JTF2 standing around on the barren windswept rock holding the Maple Leaf in position while someone radios back to base to ask if DND can parachute in a tube of Superglue.

Why do we need the government to spend $45 million on free flags? Well, go back to 1995. “We came within a few thousand votes of losing the greatest country in the world,” wrote Warren Kinsella a few weeks back in an impassioned defence of the Chretien years. “Under Brian Mulroney’s watch, there were no Canadian flags flying at post offices in Quebec… No flags in citizenship courts, even. Canada, as a concept, barely existed in the Province of Quebec.” It was one big no-fly zone. 

Call me a pessimist, but I can’t think making a rural postmaster in the Gaspe lean a ladder up against the flagpole each morning so he can nail Sheila’s Maple Leaf into position is likely to endear him to the concept of Canada.

-snip-

[Chinese_American_Patriot]

Unfortunately, Massachusetts is home to John Fonda Kerry and the fat, red-nosed drunk Ted Kennedy.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Unfortunately, Massachusetts is home to John Fonda Kerry and the fat, red-nosed drunk Ted Kennedy.

You'll not be able to apportion any blame for that state of affairs in my vicinity, sir.

I for one have stated on this very forum that I will dance drunk and naked in my driveway when Fat Teddy meets his eventual demise.

You'll need to look elsewhere for an idiot that ever voted for either of them.

[Chinese_American_Patriot]

No, I did NOT say that anyone here likes that fat-@$$. I also despise him and Kerry because they are undermining the war effort. I'm just saying that Massachusetts has gone left with this crap and with their approval of gay marriage. I apologize if I had offended you because I knew that all members of Free Republic are patriotic and are against the left.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I apologize if I had offended you because I knew that all members of Free Republic are patriotic and are against the left.

No offense taken at all. I was just being a smartass...as is my nature. I also never like to pass on an opportunity to spew my disgust and loathing for all things Kennedy.

It is kind of odd up here. Outside of Rt. 128, which encircles Boston at a radius of approximately 20 miles, the voting is very much Conservative in nature. Inside of Rt. 128 it is strictly liberal whacko land, to be sure.

[Chinese_American_Patriot]

Here in the Democratic People's Republic of Santa Cruz, California, liberals are everywhere. The liberal loser Dennis Kucinich has NO chance of being president but people here love him. Santa Cruz is also home to feminists and old, burnt-out hippie douche bags from the 60's and even young douches with hideous tye-dye and greasy dreadlocks. This city used to host the Miss America pageant since the 40's but the ugly, fat feminists protested it in the 80's claiming, "Contestants are abused, forced to participate and they get raped" all false claims, but the pageant was moved to San Diego but some of these damn feminists joined, posing as contestants and during the bikini part, these damn "women" pulled out signs saying "Judge me, not women!" Santa Cruz wasn't always like this; it used to be a Republican stronghold until the hippie infested University of California-Santa Cruz opened in the 60's. That's my hometown that I'm ashamed of.