Rosie's Story (20/20 background; Dads are Missing)

ABC News ^ | March 14, 2002 | Rebecca Raphael

[kcvl]

Still, she believes that being gay is incredibly challenging.

"I don't think you choose whether or not you're gay," she says. "Who would choose it? It's a very difficult life. You get socially ostracized. You worry all the time whether or not you're in physical danger if you show affection to your partner. You're worried that you're an outcast with your friends and with society in general."

Florida Case Strikes a Chord

Though there has been speculation that she chose to discuss her sexuality only because her talk show will come to an end this May, the actress/comedian says that is not so.

Steve Lofton, left, and Roger Croteau are suing the state of Florida to overturn a ban on gay adoption. (ABCNEWS.com)

"I wanted there to be a reason" to talk about her sexuality, she says. And when she learned about a Florida gay parenting case, she found that reason and has made it her cause.

Steve Lofton and Roger Croteau are raising five HIV-positive children, three of whom are foster kids. The couple were able to adopt the other two in Oregon. The family was thrown into disarray when the state of Florida told them they had to give up one of their foster children, Bert, whom they have raised for 10 years. Lofton and Croteau would like to adopt Bert, but under Florida law they can't, because they are gay.

When O'Donnell read about the Lofton-Croteau case, she thought about her adopted son Parker: "My Lord, if somebody came to me now and said … 'We're going to take him now because you're gay,' my world would collapse. I'm lucky to have adopted my children, not in the state that I live, Florida. I'm lucky, because otherwise I would be in danger of losing my children."

The Right to Parent

O'Donnell says her own experiences as a mother make her certain that gay people should have the right to be parents.

"I know I'm a really good mother. I know it. I'm a really good mother. And I have every right to parent this child," she said. "It takes a lot to become a foster parent … You have to really want to save a child who others have deemed unsaveable. And for the state of Florida to tell anyone who's willing, capable, and able to do that, that they're unworthy, is wrong."

Asked about President Bush's statement — as well as the staunch belief of many — that children ought to be adopted only by a man and a woman who are married, O'Donnell says: "He's wrong. President Bush is wrong about that. And you know, if he'd like, he and his wife are invited to come spend a weekend at my house with my children. And I'm sure his mind would change."

Being gay, she says, does not make someone a bad parent. Any while the children of gay parents may face some ridicule from their peers, O'Donnell thinks they can get past that.

"I do think the kids will get teased, and you know, in some capacity that's very sad, and eventually I think that will stop. … I'm not asking that people accept homosexuality. I'm not asking that they believe like I do that it's inborn. I'm not asking that. All I'm saying is don't let these children suffer without a family because of your bias."


The Foster Care System

O'Donnell is trying to keep the Lofton-Croteau family together, but she's also hoping to shed light on the hundreds of thousands of children who are lost in America's foster care system.

The five Lofton-Croteau children are being raised by gay parents. (ABCNEWS.com)

"I was stunned into action. I mean I never knew that there were half a million kids in foster care in America," says O'Donnell. "There are over 350,000 children with nowhere to go — children who are most likely aged out of the system, and go either directly on welfare or directly to jail. It stunned me as an adoptive parent."

With so many children aching for a family, she says, "I don't think that restricting the pool of adoptive parents is beneficial."

O'Donnell dismisses claims that children adopted by gay parents are more likely to be gay. As for her own children, she says she hopes they will be straight. "I do. I think life is easier if you're straight. I hope that they are genuinely happy, whatever they are. That if they're gay, they know they're gay and they live a happy life. But if I were to pick, would I rather have my children have to go through the struggles of being gay in America, or being heterosexual? I would say heterosexual."

After emphasizing how much easier it is to be straight than gay, she says she wouldn't change her own sexuality. "I think if I could take a pill to make myself straight, I wouldn't do it, because I am who I am, and I've come to this point in my life and I'm very happy."

*****

Ask the children in the orphanage, in Monroe, LA, (which has been there since 1899), if they had rather live there or with Rosie O'Donnell or any other gay, lesbian or transsexual parent. Why don't the CHILDREN get to choose? I would think an orphanage would be a much more stable life than with two people, who don't even know who they are. I feel so sorry for those children.

[SuziQ]

Two women, gay. Now 'married'. Pushing the gay marriage agenda.

These women are NOT married, much as they want to say they are. They got a fraudulent license from the city of San Francisco and hyped a media event.

There is no such thing as homosexual marriage. Marriage is, and always has been, even in pagan cultures, the union of a man and a woman.

Let's take back the language folks! Don't use terms that give credibility to the claims of homosexual activists. The only 'gay marriages' are cheerful, happy unions of men and women like that of my husband and myself who've been married for almost 29 years. WE have a gay marriage!

[gobucks]

"WE have a gay marriage!"

LOL ... ok, I agree ... more than you'd guess. My wife would claim the we too, have a gay marriage. Well, mostly gay, when I remember to pick up after myself.....

[gobucks]

I concur w/ your view about orphanages ... some have made a bad name for them of course. But, on the whole, if you're raised in an orphanage, your 'story' is flexible. You have options regarding how you portray yourself.

But, if your "Mother" is Rosie? Talk about destroying options.

I had posted a brief article about these two fellows not very long ago. Their gay adoption push finally failed in Fla ... a brief bit of good news.

I feel for those kids too .... both the one's w/o homes, and the ones in Rosie's home.

[kcvl]

Did you hear about the guy in California, who killed his nine children & "wives"? He was also the father & grandfather of, at least, two of the children. I wonder when that will be legalized? We can't have any "discrimination" now, can we. /sarcasm

[Siamese Princess]

Notice whenever these single/gay adoptive parents talk about adoption, it's always about THEIR needs and fulfillment, THEIR identity, etc. The needs or benefit to the children is never a concern. Children have become possessions that can be collected or discarded as the moment dictates. It happens in dumpsters, high school restrooms and so-called 'clinics'. It's all part of the societal devaluation of human life, yet these same monsters will condemn the death penalty. Death and abuse is apparently only for the innocent.

That's a common (and, unfortunately, widely-accepted) attitude today -- that a child is of no intrinsic value, but exists only as a possession, object of gratification, plaything, accessory, someone who will love the parent unconditionally. Because the child is of no value, the parents (who claim to love the child dearly) are eager to fob off her care and upbringing on a third party such as the workers at a daycare center, nanny, teacher, coach, etc., pay attention to her only when in the mood and ignore her otherwise and break up their marriage (assuming they were married to begin with) over a trifle because they find it convenient to believe that children are resilient. Legalized abortion is simply the most extreme manifestation of this mentality -- the complete rejection of responsibility for one's actions and of obligation to one's child.

[Siamese Princess]

Notice that her children, to whom she is supposedly devoted, are little things, no older than 6. Yeah, that's the easy part. Let's see how devoted to them she is when they're teenagers or young adults. She'll be gone... oh, yeah. No mention, I see, of the child she adopted and has already "given back".

They'll probably be ignored and whatever care and upbringing they receive will be left to the nanny and other third parties.

[Devil_Anse]

Yes, you're right.

It's easy to interact with little kids if you're playing the part of some relative who pops in every now and then, joins in their games, and makes them all laugh. What's not easy is to be there every single day of their childhood, helping them get ready for whatever it is they're supposed to be doing (such as going to school), and then being there every single evening of their childhood. I mean, if you go out that evening, they would still understand that you'd be available to them if need be.

I can't see how anyone can give this constancy if they are living the Hollywood life. From what I understand, the Hollywood life relies on publicity, and that relies on a LOT of travel.

Children have become a fad item among homosexuals--like the latest car, or the latest body piercing, or the latest haircut.

[Siamese Princess]

A catholic priest, a specialist in SSAD (same sex attachment disorder) has put it rather succiently:

"If you are a father of a young son, and you fail to hug him adequately (physically, spiritually, emotionally), then you can bet when he grows older, he will seek and find a man who will".

Bottom line, homosexuality is mostly a very bad bonding disorder created by the neglect, sometimes abuse, but primarily neglect, of the natural father. And last night, that was just fine by ABC as any mention of natural fathers of any of these individuals in this 'gay' family was deliberately suppressed.

Excellent post. I have a girlfriend with a gay son (age 24), the product of a broken (!!) first marriage. A mutual friend observed that she suspected that he became homosexual because he's not close to his stepfather and he realizes that his biological father (an wife-beater with a drinking problem) is indifferent to him. So he turns to other men for love and attention.

Unfortunately, with the divorce and illegitimacy rates being what they are, widespread parental indifference to their children even in intact families, and widespread acceptance of homosexuality, homosexuality is likely to further spread.

[Devil_Anse]

Right. That's what I've observed, too.

Something else, which I didn't really see at first, but now I am becoming more and more convinced: female homosexual couples don't value fidelity to one another very much, either.

You know what's really going to be funny? What'll really toll the death knell will be when people begin routinely using marriage as a tax strategy, or something related to smart financial planning. That'll take all the interpersonal meaning out of it. It'll just be another legal dodge--empty. I think that's what the homosexuals REALLY want from this: to totally invalidate everything that makes heterosexuals heterosexuals. Only then will they be happy. Homosexuality not only does not produce anything; it is a destructive force.

[Devil_Anse]

Rosie seems like a person with serious mental problems

I agree with you. And I can't for the life of me figure out why people insist on being fans of lunatics like this.

Mia Farrow and her ever-increasing brood should tell us what really goes on when a "celebrity" decides she wants to be the Earth Mother, and just keep taking in a bunch of children, without really paying close attention to the fact that children need VALID emotional ties which will last throughout their lives.

[mtbopfuyn]

Thanks for listing the lies in her story - alone with a permit, kiddies in bars, etc. I've noticed for years she is inconsistent with her story weaving. There was a 4th kid, why isn't it still around?

[William Terrell]

What kind of data do you have?

[winker]

When Christians call homosexuality a abominable sin many who oppose this say we are Trite. As Christians we cannot condone what Jehovah God condemns. This sin is not the Un-Pardonable Sin; because we are commanded to love the sinner and hate the SIN! You are not born that way either; it is a learned lifestyle. What God Almighty calls abominable, man cannot change, and Almighty Jehovah God makes no mistakes nor does he produce flawed goods. This is Truth plain and simple!

[mtbopfuyn]

Rosie has no TV show, no magazine, and no Broadway show now. She can milk this "professional gay" stuff for a while longer, but her Queen of Nice image is gone for good,

Unless Rosie can concoct some outrageous stunt, in 18 months we'll all be asking, "Rosie, who?".

[Devil_Anse]

UR welcome! I'm sure I just scratched the surface, regarding the lies. I wonder what her alleged high school friends would have to say about her accusations that they did nothing but drink in bars and pick up men.

Someone else explained the 4th kid to me. Actually, after hearing the explanation, I figure there must be 5. I still distinctly remember a story that Rosie had an adopted girl who was "too disturbed" for her to want to keep--so she didn't keep her. (My, how easy... got a kid you can't live with? Give her back!) The other child comes from the fact that Rosie's female companion is pregnant through artificial insemination.

Apologies to those who could not reproduce except through artificial insemination... but you know, artificial insemination is increasingly beginning to look to me like polygamy. A guy donates sperm... several women are inseminated with his sperm... and voila! he is now the father of children by several different women. The only way that seems to be different from polygamy is that the guy doesn't have to support--or even KNOW--any of his children. Sweet deal, isn't it?

[gobucks]

I suppose the data I have would not be 'publish' worthy - given the control over peer-reviewed journals is essentially a leftist game.

But, more interestingly, you didn't answer my question - so I'll be more specific: would it take an article in Time magazine which states "Neglectful Fathers Now Viewed as Root Cause of Same Sex Attachment Disorder"?

I mean, honestly, what do you find credible, other than the social circles you circulate within?

[gobucks]

What God Almighty calls abominable, man cannot change, and Almighty Jehovah God makes no mistakes nor does he produce flawed goods. This is Truth plain and simple!

We agree on the truth. However, so much of this nonsense today can be traced to the fact there are few guides to show how to do it right.

Bottom line, a golfer who routinely slices KNOWS he has a slice problem. But its a rare teacher who figures out that saying 'stop doing x y and z' doesn't work very well, and instead says 'watch me, and imitate'.

That is the way out for so many of these people ... imitation of the right way. But, too many of us fail to stand, speak, and say, 'wait a sec .... though I could say 'stop', let me say this: watch me .... imitate.

That's the core message of the fellow who came to earth and said, I am the truth. That's the core message of the guy who spoke to the unclean samaritan woman at the well, and said, "...Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks."

Thus, he seeks not the leftists who scream invectives against Christians, nor Christians who illuminate the abominations ... neither is the worship He's after.

He seeks those who imitate living the truth (which is why so many are so upset about the Passion. What if every one got the idea they needed to pick up their cross daily ... sheesh!!! can you imagine the economic cataclysm that would befall this great consumerist society??).

And that is a tough thing to do, if you're a man fearful of looking bad due to your own faults. The breeding ground for weak fathering is ever-fertile these days.

[Rapunzel]

What about the children whose fathers have died early in their lives? Military as well as men who had unfound health issues.

My own father died when I was 5, I'll be 50 next month. Our Mom raised three girls to be responsible, honest and moral people.

She passed away just two weeks ago and I am very thankful to have known her as My Mother and we were best friends after and only after I too was a grown woman.

She was a wonderfully strong woman that somehow did the job of both Mom and Dad. I used to buy her a Father's Day card and take the Father's Day cake to the bakery and asked for them to add Mom at the bottom. We laughed about this the other day that in the state of our moral code in todays world no one would think this odd, but that so long ago no wonder the bakery people used to frown at me about this. But alas they are the ones that had it all wrong.

You always should never judge a book by its cover.

[William Terrell]

I answered your question with another question.

I always take articles in publications with a grain of salt. And I believe that the presence of fathers in any home with children is supremely important, to give the child a sense of balance if nothing else.

My problem is giving the ladies in, or out of, the family a complete pass on the influence of the sexuality, normal or deviant, of a child. My commonsense says that men, while important for a family and rearing of children, don't shoulder all the responsibility. Regardless of what an article in Time magazine says.

The culture war, men's division, is only fought with truth, not exaggerated claims, which will at some point in time be found false, to the detriment of the men's division of the culture war.

It just doesn't pass the smell test for me.