"Why were the researchers suffering and fretting over calling him? Were they scared of the corporate repurcussions and possible job losses? Did they not have adequate health insurance to treat possible heart problems? Were they over the age of 65 and unable to afford their medications?
This information leads to a difficult question, one that I take no pleasure in asking. But since I'm patriotic and a Vietnam Veteran I have to ask it: 'Why was he sleeping in the first place?' He should have been taking the time to know if there were any asteroids close to us, that might lead to further job loss and higher health insurance premiums.
He should have been using those hours to be calling scientists all over the world, making sure that the women and children of this world are safe and that civil rights can continue. Doesn't he care about that?
The fact that there were so few researchers on the job was probably due to the tax cuts enacted by this president. I would immediately rescind the tax cuts -- we dodged a bullet here, but we need more government researchers watching the skies at all times.
This is a serious situation -- I demand an investigation! As president, I will make sure that we are always safe from asteroids.
One last thing. Don't you go attacking my patriotism because I asked this question, Mr. Bush. Don't you dare dismiss my questions as "silly" or "mundane." I didn't fight in Vietnam and earn 3 Purple Hearts only to die from an asteroid.
I am a Vietnam Veteran, and I will debate you anytime about asteroids."
This concludes the PARODY comment attributed to John Kerry.