No regrets for choosing love over abortion

Indianapolis Star ^ | Jan 22, 2004 | J. Scofield

[redangus]

Today, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I am reminded once again that those who accept abortion as a viable solution to a social problem do not have all the information they need to come to that misguided conclusion. That is why I am telling my story.

In 1969, before Roe v. Wade, and at the age of 37, I became pregnant with my fifth child. I was ill at the time and could barely manage to take care of the children I had. I knew I could not take care of a baby. I was not interested in exploring different options, believe me. Nor did I consult my conscience, my doctor or God on the matter. All I wanted was to get out of the situation the fastest, easiest way possible and I thought that way was abortion. How wrong I was.

I certainly was not thinking clearly at the time. In the years preceding this, some people were beginning to think more liberally about abortion, and I had listened to their reasons why it would be OK, instead of listening to my heart. I had been given permission by society to kill my own baby. That's all I needed to act.

I didn't make a real choice that day. A choice implies a clear mind, free of fear and with full knowledge of the price I would have to pay. The day before the abortion (two doctors signed), my husband took me and our two older children, who were teenagers, into the bedroom to have a private discussion. They all agreed that if I would not do this, they would help me with the baby.

As it turned out, I got very little help. But hey, I'm not complaining, because I raised my son anyway, and I thank my former husband every time I see him for not allowing me to kill my own child, but it was his child too.

I realize now that I was not only choosing for myself, I was choosing for my baby -- and it was his life. I was choosing for my husband. I was choosing for my other children. And I was choosing for their grandparents. The question, then, is not "Did I have a right to choose?" The real question is "Did I have a right to choose for everybody simply because I carried that baby in my body?"

This baby did not belong to me. These babies belong to the ages. He was not my possession to dispose of as I wished. Kahlil Gibran said it well in his famous poem, "Your children do not belong to you. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself." Neither was he a blob of tissue. He was a unique, marvelous, individual human being who was merely in one stage of his life; just as infancy, adolescence or old age are stages.

This child, this particular "mistake," has become very precious to his mother. His name is Dirk. A law against abortion would keep many women from doing something they would regret for the rest of their lives (just as my husband's interference did), at a time when they are in no position to make such a life-altering decision.

But if not a law, at least tell the truth about abortion and its consequences, which affect the whole family and even the world. Apparently, women have the right to choose for everybody, and everybody gets to share in the consequences.

Feminists have told women that abortion is about reproductive freedom and will allow them to be empowered and fulfilled. But real power comes with love and responsibility. And there is neither love nor responsibility connected with abortion. There is no fulfillment or power in being soul-sick either.

Some day we will look back on this abortion era aghast at what we allowed to happen, as we now do with slavery and the Holocaust. The evil keeps popping up and it catches us every time, in spite of our "lest we forget" rhetoric.

What is the opposite of informed choice? Uninformed choice, which is really no choice at all.

[Artist]

A big bump for your question. I can't wait to see the reply.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Apparently she decided to have you, and either keep you or give you up for adoption. I am not arguing that she didn't make the right choice, but I'm arguing that it isn't necessarily the right choice for every woman or for every fetus.

[madprof98]

"And if they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Probably not a quote familiar to you, but the sentiment behind it is identical to your own. And a merry Christmas to you, sir!

[FITZ]

Actually there's some pretty solid research correlating the drop in violent crime in recent years, with the date that abortion started being legal and widely available.

Don't forget about all those prisons they built ---- there are a heck of a lot of people in prisons and that's why crime rates are really down.

[GovernmentShrinker]

What's ridiculous about being more concerned with the unspeakable and lengthy suffering of many children around the world, than with the quick extinguishment of the lives of early-stage fetuses? We can certainly agree that it would be a better world if neither were happening, but at the present time that isn't achievable.

[ican'tbelieveit]

That is a non-answer. She had 7 kids before I came along. She gave me up for adoption, took me back a few months later, tried to beat me to death within months. Again, what right do you have to say that I have no right to live, enjoy life, and to know God's Glory on this earth? If it was the right choice for me to live, what makes it different for any other child?

[GovernmentShrinker]

I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am.

[madprof98]

Ah, yes, I should have guessed from the warmth and tenderness of your sweet sentiments.

[Ann Archy]

Abortion...The Human Sacrifice to the god of Convenience,

[ican'tbelieveit]

The god of selfishness. The god of self-centeredness. The god of "it is all about me." Amazing the justification some people come up with for abortions.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Billions of people past and present, have had "rights" that they didn't get to exercise. Who's to say the that the 4-week-old fetus in some Central American peasant woman's womb right now, that's going to miscarry naturally due to lack of sophisticated medical care, doesn't have a "right" to have the mother transported to the U.S. where specialists can easily save the pregnancy? On some philosophical plane, it may indeed have that "right", but it sure isn't going to get it, and I don't the U.S. fetus-rights crowd losing any sleep over it.

[Ann Archy]

I am so glad you were not a problem for your mother to give brth to.

Surely, you don't think that other childen will be happy that their sibling was aborted so that they could maybe have a better new coat or go on a longer vacation.

[Ann Archy]

That isn't "reasoning"...it's "excuse making" for aborting something inconvenient.

[Ann Archy]

It's difficult to adopt babies in this country because they are ABORTED by their loving mothers.

[cyborg]

I don't agree with some of GS's sentiments but at least she is thinking things through. I've met too many in the pro-life camp who fire off talking points.

[ican'tbelieveit]

I am so grateful that you either didn't know my birth mother, or had no influence over her decisions. You are the epitome of evil. If you had your way, you would have driven her to the abortion clinic, held her hand, and possibly performed the procedure yourself; therefore denying me my right to life.

Miscarriages happen in the US with the best of medical care. A miscarriage is not a forced abortion. It is not a willful choice to decide that a child, that has committed no crimes against humanity should die before they get to see life because it "inconveniences" the mom's perceived lifestyle.

[Artist]

A dismal and depressing view from the other side of the abortion debate: I Had an Abortion {Mega-Barf}

[Artist]

Yours are persuasive, heartfelt posts. Thank you for speaking up.

[Lorianne]

"Truth invites examination." ____ Aristotle

I'm glad this women spent the time to examine her decision, formulate her ideas and share it with the world.

[sarasmom]

I very much doubt that human suffering will ever completely end, as long as humans think they are in charge of things.
It is specious to argue that aborting a child whose purpose in life is not knowable, helps humanity as a whole.
Abortion has existed as a "choice" for thousands of years.
There have always been ways to rid oneself of an unwanted pregnancy, and never has any society before us condoned it.
Initially,Roe v Wade was going to save lives of desparate women who were seeking back alley abortions, and dying from illegal medical procedures.
We, as a society are now reaching the point that it will be demanded of women, whether or not they "choose" to abort.
See China.
Also open your eyes and look around.
I was encouraged by my doctor to abort my pregnancy, because highly advanced medical tests predicted a high probability of a "defective child".
My child is normal,healthy, and the joy of my life.
If she were not normal and healthy, she would still be the joy of my life.
I am not an anti-abortionist.I am pro-life.
I find the pro-life and pro-abortion camps equally controlling, but at least the pro-life camp has clear moral authority.
I am deeply concerned that my daughter may one day need medical or government "permission" to bear a child.

I want everyone out of the business of controlling womens wombs.There has been only one immaculate conception birth in all of theocracy.All other known births need the physical combination of sperm and egg to happen.
Much more attention needs to be paid to the sperm donors,for the sake of every society on Earth. IMHO.