[Prodigal Son]

Tie one of Hillary's crusty thongs around his nose and make him wear it for a couple days- he'll talk.

[Dead Dog]

..like peyote and other fungi, he'd probably experience 8 hours of vertigo, nausea and vomiting fallowed by a hallucinogenic spirit vision.

After returning to reality, he would only have a fear of rancid sea food.