[snopercod]

love them unconditionally

My wife does me that way, even when I'm in the dumps like I have been sometimes since I lost my job 15 months ago.

Occasionally she'll ask me, why don't you see a doctor and get some drugs for depression? I tell here there are two reasons.

1. I might want to run for office, work at a nuclear plant, or reinstate my security clearance some day. You can't do those things with a history of "mental problems".

2. The problem is not chemical, I have real good external reasons to be depressed, like;

   • I have no job, no money, no friends, and no status. After a life of building nuclear plants and launching space shuttles, my life has come down to keeping the fire in the fireplace going all winter, and emptying the cat litter box.

   • I am unable to engage in any of the pastimes that used to give me pleasure (like flying), and I am unable to finish any of the projects that I started like that Lancair 235 in my basement.

But when I was in college, I used to pray that God would help me to be wise. I figure this situation is all part of my training.

Hey, at least my house and cars are paid for, and my wife loves me unconditionally.

[bonfire]

You are very wise.

God Bless.

[steve86]

Wish I could help you finish that Lancair. I sold my plane and took up R/C Helicopters, in part because of similar life problems. The models will sometimes sit for months because I don't have the energy to work on them, but I eventually find it and the experience is satisfying. My "status" now comes from these moments, prayer, and my grandchildren who adore me, not from professional prestige.

Outpatient treatment for depression would not necessarily be disqualifying for security clearances. You'd be surprised how many of your former co-workers openly take SSRIs or other antidepressants and maintain their clearances. The same goes for politicians.

Although many of your problems are situational, you are too eager to deny a biochemical component. If you absolutely refuse to seek medical treatment, you should at least try 5-HTP, over-the-counter and one of the Trytophan chemicals. Works very similarly to the SSRIs in me. Have your wife keep a private diary of any changes in your mood/behavior, because it can be difficult to judge on your own. Take the doses exactly according to the manufacturer's instructions.

[TheSpottedOwl]

Hey, at least my house and cars are paid for, and my wife loves me unconditionally.

God has truly blessed you :-) You have a good wife. A job will come soon, so don't ever give up hope!