Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: Lazamataz
LOL.. my default state is that I'm really happy. I like that.

Lazamataz... Funny.. but I'm listening to Everybody Hurts by REM right now.

I tried... but I couldn't embrace the "total abstinance" of AA or NA. That "yee-haw... let's get it on!!!" state of mind has always been with me and total abstinance made me feel even more split.

Now..I acknowledge the addict in me.. have even come to love her. For she is the part of me that screams to the heavens when the shit starts to fly... "F**K YOU!! You'll never take me down!!!!"
212 posted on 12/13/2003 10:24:42 AM PST by bikewench
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies ]


To: bikewench
You'll never take me down!!!!"

I always envision the "Last Great Act of Defiance" poster.

245 posted on 12/13/2003 10:55:03 AM PST by IronJack
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 212 | View Replies ]

To: bikewench
I tried... but I couldn't embrace the "total abstinance" of AA or NA. That "yee-haw... let's get it on!!!" state of mind has always been with me and total abstinance made me feel even more split.

Heh. I may be flirting with disaster, but I still have the occasional beer. I don't drink like I used to even last year, not even close, but I'll finish a six pack in two or three weeks.

I know this is against the NA creed, but my take on it is, I need to kick the shit out of cocaine, because it sure kicked the shit out of me. Beer got close to being a problem a long time ago, but curiously since I quit drugs my appetite for beer plummeted.

Now..I acknowledge the addict in me.. have even come to love her. For she is the part of me that screams to the heavens when the shit starts to fly... "F**K YOU!! You'll never take me down!!!!"

My addict-self is ugly. I don't love him. I don't even like him.

He's cost me relationships, he's cost me jobs, he's been the focal point of the majority of my problems for a few years. My addict can f*** off and die.

My sponser told me an important thing to do is to name my addict. I named him Don, after someone I know who is hypocritical (condemning me for doing drugs in between tokes), dishonest (stole at least one gun from me), dishonorable in every way, G-d mocking, and really is quite a twisted piece of feces. It remains to see if he's a coward, because I owe him a dance. I train daily. :o)

631 posted on 12/13/2003 8:21:18 PM PST by Lazamataz ("With an Iron Fist, We Will Lead Humanity to Happiness." - Translation of sign at Solovki Gulag)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 212 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson