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I can give you a firsthand account. For a male child at least, growing up without a father is simply devastating. It took me many many years to come to grips with what had happened.

I would have married 10 years ago had I not been determined not to inflict on my own children the grave harm inflicted upon me by the baby-boomer self-absorption of my parents. Since I was too young and immature to be a proper parent at that time, and I knew that, I declined to marry and let the lady I loved fulfill her needs to be a mother - with another man. I'm still torn over it, but on balance I feel I did the right thing. Given a father's guidance in my own childhood, however, I may very well have been ready then to be a good father in my own right.

I can suck up the effects of my own personal tragedies, but I will not sit silently as I watch it happen to other families nationwide!

Thank you for sharing that.

I truly believe that you did your best, at the time, according to what you knew and were able to do.

I do believe God gave children two parents for a reason, and I know my husband revels in being a father to his kids, he takes that responsibility to heart, and puts them above all else. I am fortunate that I chose him to be the father of my children.

Many families are not so fortunate. And I often wish that the law was blind to the sex of the parents, when it came to custody. This issue is too important to be divided up based on gender alone.

I can give you a firsthand account. For a male child at least, growing up without a father is simply devastating. It took me many many years to come to grips with what had happened.
I would have married 10 years ago had I not been determined not to inflict on my own children the grave harm inflicted upon me by the baby-boomer self-absorption of my parents. Since I was too young and immature to be a proper parent at that time, and I knew that, I declined to marry and let the lady I loved fulfill her needs to be a mother - with another man. I'm still torn over it, but on balance I feel I did the right thing. Given a father's guidance in my own childhood, however, I may very well have been ready then to be a good father in my own right.

I can suck up the effects of my own personal tragedies, but I will not sit silently as I watch it happen to other families nationwide!

I can also speak to the devastation growing up without a father does to the female children too. Of course in my particular case, I was better off physically because my father was very abusive to my older siblings, but the rejection part is hard to overcome too. You grow up wondering what's wrong with me, but anyway, God is good and has done a wonderful job of healing :)

Here's what I have a big problem with divorced parents who constantly fight over the custody/ child support issues. They are usually blind and oblivious to what it does to their children. Think about it you have two wounded individuals having to cope with situations that evoke anger, bitterness, hurt and oftentimes they continue to lash out at each other all the while the children are caught up in the middle of their parents mess.

If divorce is absolutely an option I really wish the parents would at least be civil towards each other if for nothing else for the sake of their children's emotional well being. And fathers out there, think twice before you complain about having to pay child support in front of your children. My father was so bitter about having to pay child support and complained constantly TO HIS CHILDREN, it came across to us that his money was more important than his kids.