You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-Ay).
You can say the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkey, beans or bologna.
Words like "hoagie", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually means something to you.
You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same.
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in multiple colors: Red, White, Brown, and Gold.
You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Lebanon Bologna, and Hot Bacon Dressing.
You can give directions to "Intercourse, PA" with a straight face.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel with deli mustard smeared on it from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.
Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
You know that Blue Ball, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, Intercourse, and Slippery Rock are towns.
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey," and the Atlantic Ocean as "the shore."
At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You know who "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.
You carry jumper cables in your car, and your female passengers know how to use them.
You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if you live in the south.
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
You think a typical vacation is two weeks on the front stoop.
School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
"Youse guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Did you eat yet?)
You can say the correct pronunciation of LANK-is-ter instead of the mispronounced Laan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
You know how to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Bryn Athyn, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.
You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.
You call Sloppy Joes "Barbecue."
You think Medium Rare equals Well Done.
You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
You buy your beer and soda only by the case.
You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."
You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
You know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).
You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment."
You refer to something as "a whole nother," as in "That's a whole nother issue."
The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.
You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
Your municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.
You actually understand these jokes and send them on to other Pennsylvanians.
This is my favorite one:
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow
Don't forget Hamburgs with everthing on it!
...Where your college roommates from Pittsburgh, LAN-cast-er, and Philadelphia (referred to by natives as filelfia) gather around to hear you talk funny
...Where we drink wahter, not wooder
...Where "houseafire" is a way of describing anything fast. (She was talking like a houseafire, he was running like a houseafire)
...Where Penn State is ivy league (Ya mean you're not going to Grove City?)
...Where you can get legacy admission to Slippery Rock, and be proud of it.
...Where Erie County tried to secede in the '70's but couldn't get those folks in Buffalo to give up their name of Erie County
...Where Welch's grape juice and Wonder Bread are served for communion
...Where "doncha know" is the appropriate ending to all sentences, doncha know.
...Where icebox, studio couch, stove, record player, chest 'o drawers, rug and curtains still describe things in your home
...Where knotty pine panelling is still cool interior decor
...Where you stuff the turkey with dressing
...Where you've never played stoopball
...Where "I've got to light the fire" means you're turning up the thermostat
...Where a breezeway is a really cool thing to connect your house with your 1 car garage (What's a great room, anyway?)
...Where it's still cool to have a bathtub Mary, a flamingo, or a gazing ball in your yard
...Where garage is a one-syllable word (grudge)
...Where a roof is a ruf and a creek is a crick
...Where you can legitimately root for the Yankees, Indians, Pirates, Yankees or Mets; or the Browns, Steelers, Bills or Jints
...Where you look at the Big Ten logo and know that the hidden little "11" is meant for you
...Where you buy things on your chargeaplate
...Where ladies raise money by selling $5.00 worth of baked goods for $1.25
...You have a fine choice of polka shows on Sunday radio, some in German
...Where Erie International Airport means you get a couple flights a day from Toronto
...Land of Tom Ridge and Freddie B (Biletnikoff)
...In a word, "slush"
...Got melk?