You know[pronounced Juno] Dorris? She goes to first Presby and was Annies second cousin on her mothers side well the other day she did the craziest thing
Directions are given by sending you to landmarks that arent there any more:
Jus go dawn to where Bills barn burned down, turn left n drive til you pass where da ol Jint Igle used to be, dan yur close. Should be on da left, cross from Jimmys sister place. Juno, she goes to dat Catholic church wit her Eye-talian husband
Suddenly I could go for a sammich with chip-chopped ham and a pop.
PENNSYLVANIA: DUMB BUT SIMPLE
Second that!
PENNSYLVANIA -- YOU'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!