I haven't met the first paleo-confederate that hates America, I fly the American flag, I saluted it this morning as it was being raised. But the war that was fought would be comparable to losing almost 6 million military today, another 4 million innocent civilians, and subjecting 91 million to poverty, the theft and plunder of their every possession, and years of rule by military despots.
The total war tactics adopted by the North are (imo) akin to our use of atomic weapons on the Japanese. Would you suggest the US was not correct in delivering to its enemy such devastation as would require its immediate surrender? And didn't that action save American lives?
If you don't see the parallel between the two sets of actions, then explain the difference.