[Chunga]

"Our top story tonight, Attorney General Janet Reno announced she will not name an independent council to investigate campaign fund raising by the President. At a press conference, she said, quote, 'The decision was mine, it was based on the facts, on the law, not pressure, not politics, not any other factor.' She was then led away at gunpoint by the First Lady and nine Chinese guys."

[Chunga]

"Despite pressure, jailed Whitewater swindlers Jim and Susan McDougall are still refusing to testify about President Clinton's role in the scandal and some are charging that the President has secretly promised them a pardon in return for their silence. Well, in a candid interview this week, the President admitted that he might consider pardoning the two, but only after making `Every effort to have them killed in prison."'

[gathersnomoss]

Yo, are you Norm? Good stuff.