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Yabut, our attack took more than one bear. I don't know where the international refs are going to come down on this one. While they are looking at the replay, we need more scores.

I am also worried that our bears may have lost their "edge," what with the lavish supplies available in your average American dump. The Russki bears, trying to scavenge amongs heaps of empty plastic vodka bottles, may be a mite more testy.

Go bears!

No our attack only took one bear and got two humans. There may have been another bear at the scene but he was only rubber necking the incident. "My Proof" Timmy only screamed, "hit the bear in the head with something". He did not scream, "hit those bears in the heads". We have this on tape. (Kind makes you wonder if we will get to hear the tape on Worlds Funniest Animal Videos some day). Also I don't think his girl friend was as dumb as she sounds. Had she noticed Timmy had two bears on him she would have never told him to play dead. Even she could have figured out that if Timmy had two bears on him at once, either he was already dead or would be soon. Therefore he did not need to play dead further supporting the one bear theory.

Also, actually the other bear attack took place on our island. Or at least it was our island when the bear was born even though Clinton gave the island to the Russians. Since the bear was born an American bear he gets to stay an American even though he ate a Russian. Actually the Russian the bear ate what may have been an American even though the attack took place in Russia. This means we still have at least a 2 to 1 edge over the Russian bears and possibly, based on my school of thought, a 3 to 0 edge over the Russians.

Now I am sure the Russians have us beat in the wolf vs. human area. Every time you see a wolf that appears to be drunk in Russia means that the wolf found some Russian passed out in a ditch somewhere from drinking his normal daily consumption of vodka.