“I know we’re not supposed to try to change our significant others, but I can’t help but hope that I might be able to make a tried and true blue Democrat out of him.”
Most states have laws against vacuuming 90% of his brain matter out.
I was thinking of that old joke where a doctor tells the guy: You have six months to live. Guy asks: Doc, what should I do?
Doc tells him, "Marry a Jewish girl, and move to Kansas"
Guy says: "I hate Kansas, and I'm not Jewish".
Doc says, "Trust me, it will be the longest six months of your life."