What this is really about is that unfortunate state of affairs where the federal government has stuck their camel noses into the societal tent. In an effort to "recognize the importance of marriage", they treat married persons differently than single citizens. Different taxes, different rights and responsibilities (especially regarding heathcare decisions and coverage), and different laws (until SCOTUS's recent ham-handed blurring of the nation's laws) place marrieds apart from singles. THIS is what they want. THIS is the goal of the "gay marriage" lobby. As a radical Constitutionist, I am not opposed to gay persons having the same benefits of married couples. I'm against the government treating any citizens differently based upon their familial choices. I don't think anyone should be treated differently simply based upon their marital status.
However, since we conservatives have decided that it makes sense to reward stable long-term relationships with certain changes in "The Rules", then those who choose long-term stable relationships with persons of the same gender should get equal treatment. Reserving these changes exclusively for those who make the choices that government demands they make is not a proper role of a fair and equuitable government.
While homosexuality has never been a foundation for any successful society, and few have recognized it in any positive manner (and I would defer to 10,000 of social history), what government decides to do for straight couples, it should do for gay couples. Count my radical right-wing whacko vote for keeping the federal government out of ALL of our social choices, be they traditional or exemplary of a San Francisco freak-fest.
(However, calling it "marriage" is an unnecessary and intentional attack upon a religious institution, and I would be one of the first to vehemently oppose any state recognition of gay relations by this title. Not only is it a blatant violation of chuch-state separation, but it is a cruel political attack upon the Religious Right.)