Posted on 05/10/2003 12:39:10 AM PDT by sarcasm
ith great fanfare this month, New York City set out to hunt violators of its new indoor smoking ban. So far, only two establishments have been bagged.
The first is the august Hotel Pierre. The second is Señor Swanky's.
At the Pierre, a Fifth Avenue institution, the rich and well-born swirl martinis at the cocktail hour.
At Señor Swanky's, a Columbus Avenue burrito joint, the regulars swill frozen margaritas at the salsa-stained bar.
This is the democracy of the cigarette.
The staff of Señor Swanky's has taken full responsibility. "Some lady came in last week and got a drink a margarita, I think and when the bartender went to the bathroom, well, she just lit up," said Chris Albate, a waiter. "There wasn't anything we could do. At least she left a $10 tip."
Across town, the staff of the Pierre is denying that anything untoward occurred. "We always tell people, `Monsieur, Madame, there is absolutely no smoking here,' " said Mario Garro, a manager of the Cafe Pierre. "I have nothing against Mexican restaurants, but it seems more likely to have happened there than here."
The city's Health Department has cited both the Pierre and Señor Swanky's for a violation of the Smoke-Free Air Act, meaning inspectors determined that their employees failed to make "a good-faith effort" to inform patrons that cigarette smoking is no longer allowed. The ban started in March, but the fines did not take effect until May 1. A first offense carries a fine of $200 to $400; a second, $500 to $1,000; and a third, $1,000 to $2,000, with possible loss of the business's license. The fines are set by a judge after a hearing, much like a speeding ticket.
The department also cited eight other establishments for lesser offenses. These ranged from lacking visible no-smoking signs to leaving ashtrays on the bar.
Aside from being on the wrong side of the law, the Hotel Pierre and Señor Swanky's have little in common.
Señor Swanky's, on Columbus Avenue between 73rd and 74th Streets, bills itself as a "Mexican cafe and celebrity hangout." It is covered with doctored, Zelig-style photographs of its owner posing with everyone from Ronald Reagan to Muhammad Ali. Its soundtrack tends toward Jimmy Buffet.
The Hotel Pierre, on Fifth Avenue near 61st Street, bills a tiny fortune for a meal. There are no photos of celebrities on the walls of its restaurant. None are needed. The celebrities are upstairs in the rooms.
Chris Andrade, a manager of Señor Swanky's, said the typical customer at the restaurant was just like him. Presumably, he meant a man in his 20's with facial piercings and a taste for garish clothes.
"We get a mix of everyone in here," said Mary Somboonchoke, the bartender. "We get people in for the happy hour that can only afford the happy hour."
A typical client of the Cafe Pierre was the elegant woman of a certain age sitting at the bar, nervously handling an unlighted cigarette. She identified herself as Corinne Netzer, saying it was not her true identity but rather her nom de fume.
"Did you know that if you count the Chinese, there are more smokers in the world than nonsmokers?" Ms. Netzer inquired in a raspy voice done damage by decades of cigarettes.
"Of course, not all of them will have the privilege of voting against Mike Bloomberg in the next election."
While she agreed that cigarettes are adored by the rich and poor alike, she found more than a trace of class warfare in the smoking ban.
"Smoking is polluting the air," she said. "When one uses a private jet to fly to, shall we say, the Bahamas, isn't that air pollution as well?
"What are we talking about here? Tsk, tsk, tsk."
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