[old and tired]

I have a family member who was sexually abused as a child. She is a lesbian. I guess I believe there is a direct correlation between the abuse she suffered and her subsequent homosexual lifestyle.

I am now going to ask you a question that is almost certainly out of bounds - did you have sexual relations with an adult man while you were still a teenager or even younger?

[Qwerty]

I prefer not to discuss any part of my sex life in public. It has the potential to draw all sorts of comments, and that's exactly what I want to avoid.

But in the interest of furthering discussion.. I will say that nothing happened in my past to make me fear or hate men, and I've dated a few of them.

Sorry about your family member suffering abuse. It's very common for girls to be abused, much more common than statistics show, I think. Most of my friends have stories of sexual abuse (some are lesbians, but the majority of my friends are heterosexual).

I think the key to determining whether someone would have been a lesbian either way seems to be.. are they lesbians because they dislike men, or are they lesbians because they love women? You can get a feel for which they are when they speak about their relationships.

Hope that helps...