[Calico Cat]

I know more closet smokers than anyone...constantly being surprised by the people who hit me up for a cigarette. The latest being the wife of my husband's friend, a very clean-cut, Martha Stewart-esque domestic goddess who snatched it from my hand and inhaled like she was dying of thirst and the cig was full of water. Of course, she felt the need to hide it. Image, you know.

[Judith Anne]

Honestly, anyone who can pay for their own cigarettes and is a hypocrite about it really needs to grow up! Closet smokers! Now I've heard everything!

My grooming is impeccable, and I wash my hands frequently...there are non-smokers who assume I'm one of them, because they don't smell it on me...are they shocked when I tell them I am a proud smoker.

I even told one of them that I might have quit, except the smokenazis annoyed me so much I was determined to KEEP the habit.