You have an immensely vivid imagination. It is no more rooted to the reality of Evangelical Christians than Hillary Clinton's mad muttering about the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
I wasn't thinking of Evangelicals so much as the sort of FR poster who thinks school prayer is dandy so long as it plugs Judeo-Christianity (but never Islam!), or who wants the law never to confict with the Ten Commandments.
I have known some Evangelical Christians who were both tolerable and tolerant; not all of them are that way, unfortunately.