British men are less fertile than hamsters

independent UK news ^ | 3/17/02 | Geoffrey Lean and Richard Sadler

[anniegetyourgun]

Does this story go with THIS earlier posting on FR?

[zarf]

this headline is priceless....LOL!!

[pikachu]

Okay, this assumes that all males have the same chance of reproducing in England. Not all males are going to reproduce (Elton John, Boy George for example) and other will have baren females partners. And not all children that are produced are probably going to reproduce (Joh Reid aka the shoe bomber). And you must remember the best of the British male gene lines were decimated during 1914-1918 and 1939-1945.

So do we have any red blood Amercian males going to volunteer to help in this situation?

[SauronOfMordor]

Let me know if any English women need a sperm donation...

[anniegetyourgun]

I'm so glad to be a second generation American (out of the U.K.) and female! God bless the U.S.A. and our red-blooded boys. (The nancy boys in the U.S. can take off for Britain on the next flight as far as I'm concerned.)

[Joe Boucher]

At least they still have testicles, the french have all been neutered.

[Great Dane]

But a hamster ain't nearly as much fun.

[Orion]

I'm sure falling sperm counts have nothing to do with the rise in the feminist movement, and its emasculating influence.

There is a beautiful island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 Dutch men and 1 Dutch woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

After one month, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two Dutch men and the Dutch woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching; about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Australian men beat each other senseless for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them 'bloody wenkers'.

One New Zealand man is having sex with the New Zealand woman, the other kiwi is searching the island for sheep.

And finally, the Irish divided the island into north and south and immediately set up a distillery. They do not remember if they have had sex, because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied all the same 'cause at least the English are not getting any!

[uncbob]

I thought these bozos were worried about overpopulation

[Mike Darancette]

British men are less fertile than hamsters...

But I believe that the are better endowed than hamsters.

[jimtorr]

That was my thought. I think it may have something to do with over-population. Or perhaps, with modern indoor heating and warm clothing (especially briefs), our vital equipment is simply too warm to produce high counts.

[genefromjersey]

This is NOT necessarily bad news...

[VOA]

Let me know if any English women need a sperm donation...

Trust me, if you're hoping to "assist" women in the "west" of England (Bristol, Bath),
be sure to turn the lights out.

I'm sure there are plenty of British females of at least modest attractiveness....but they ain't there.
I suspect all the hotties must move to London at first oportunity.

(This is the combined opinion of three 'flyover country" guys who have made seperate trips
to that area.)

[dighton]

Hamster cross-bump.

[Dan from Michigan]

My relatives in Ireland are probably celebrating that.

[boris]

The environmentalists tried this "sperm count dropping" ploy a few years ago. Great agitation. Finally someone noticed that it was all wrong, all false.

I remember seeing one article: "You're Half the Man Your Father Was" or something similar.

Guess they're trotting it out once more.

[dalereed]

This planet would be an overcrowded mess if people reproduced at the same rate as hampsters unless we lower the life expectancy to that of hampsters. Let those nutty limeys answer that one.

[Orion]

That was my thought. I think it may have something to do with over-population. Or perhaps, with modern indoor heating and warm clothing (especially briefs), our vital equipment is simply too warm to produce high counts.

My guess is that it has to do with the unique English notion that a man pursuing a woman is an insult to the woman and uncivilized. Too bad Americans caught onto the idea and we get a bipolar cross of male-female relations in the good ol' USA. Between the homosexual-feminist jackboots on the left and the Bill Gothard legalites on the right, it is no wonder that we rely on unchecked immigration to grow the population.