I think you are confusing two things here.
The discussion has been whether or not the "rumors" are true. The VDs have not denied it and therefore helped give it some credence. I don't think anyone really expects them to share it publicly.
The point is that if it is true, it opens up a whole world of things that could be connected to a sexual crime. Don't you understand that?
It is not about privacy, swinging or anything else per se. It's about people who MAY indulge in a lifestyle that puts them in close contact with sexually deviant friends and strangers.
Can't you see that as a legitimate point to investigate as well as a fact to be pondered by those who want to know the entire story of the time surrounding the crime.
This thread is a discussion of the abduction and murder and all the characters involved. I hope that the investigators are having similar discussions. If not, they are not doing their jobs.