Tonight, I am separated, and now I'm truly alone.

New Horizon | 02/27/2002 | New Horizon

[New Horizon]

I posted a thread last night entitled:

Tonight, I am officially separated.

I am frightened, I have no family, I am alone...I have nobody but you guys to turn to. I received much valuable advice from fellow FReepers, which I expected. Why else would I post that type of "vanity"?

For some reason, my thread was pulled. Thank God I can salvage at least some of the intelligent replies were via FReepMail. Unfortunately, I never made it through the entire thread. I believe it was a good thread, for more than just my own selfish interests.

If I was rich (which is unlikely now) I would contribute to a forum like this. I'm not. I won't be.

If this thread is pulled, consider it my "opus".

[MileHi]

I did not mean to question your intentions. Two things.

As to the shrink, Just because she is a slob and spends you into the ground, there are issues on both sides and you both are valid... never seemed to help much. See a pastor.

As to the PI, If there is a boyfriend I suspect he will surface to flaunt himself and be the White Knite, especially since being a man means you start at the bottom of the 9th with two strikes against you and it is hard to fight back anyway.

While the courts "allow" you to see your kids for a few hours you get to drop them off at your former house to your former wife while her new "man" gloats because you can't do crap about it. Homocide may come to mind, but your kids wouldn't be impressed, so you don't.

Save those funds for other things.

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the man should have given the mice the strawberry so they would stop eating the vine.....right?Do I win a car? a vacation?

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

Ditto, good advice.

[mickie]

The thread WAS pulled and just came back a little while ago.
Can't imagine what is going on.

[Gore_ War_ Vet]

It was gone for hours, it's back now????

[VRWC_minion]

As to the shrink, Just because she is a slob and spends you into the ground, there are issues on both sides and you both are valid... never seemed to help much. See a pastor.

I told him to call a clergy person first thing. However most clergy are not trained to assist with mental health issues. This guy comes accross has potentially entering into a severe depression, if he is not already there now.

As to the PI,

It gives him something to do. He needs to start somewhere. Based on the lack of reports so far he hasn't done anything pro-active so its at least a step he can take that requires minimal effort and the results just might get him angry enough to do something.

[Donzerly lights]

Come on, fella, SNAP OUT OF IT. You've got business to take care of! Your wife is probably counting on you to react this way. Why not surprise the hell out of her?

Take action. First, "clean your nest". Second, be a figure of strength. Inform your wife, this isn't going to be as easy as she supposed and you are ready to fight for your family. Next, get a lawyer and follow thru. Do not fatigue!

[Doc On The Bay]

You're NOT alone!

You've got Tens of Thousands of Freepers here; it's a "sort-of" Family!

Somewhere in the hundreds of responses to your "Cry for Help" is a "Way out" of your current pain & insecurity.

"Take a Breath," & READ what your fellows on FR have said to you; in the words of those FReepers who cared enough to respond to you is the Wisdom you need to "Proceed with your Life!" Doc

[MileHi]

. Based on the lack of reports so far he hasn't done anything pro-active

Agreed. Anyway, my .02. I wish him luck but I am outta here.

FReegards

[eastforker]

Well,now we know for sure that a delelted thread is not completely deleted,maybe some one can find out where they realy go and if they can be retrieved or not for personal use.I wonder if that goes for deleted responses also?

[sistergoldenhair]

As to the shrink, Just because she is a slob and spends you into the ground, there are issues on both sides and you both are valid... never seemed to help much. See a pastor.

How do you spell "the----rapist/"?

[sistergoldenhair]

You're NOT alone! You've got Tens of Thousands of Freepers here; it's a "sort-of" Family! Somewhere in the hundreds of responses to your "Cry for Help" is a "Way out" of your current pain & insecurity. "Take a Breath," & READ what your fellows on FR have said to you; in the words of those FReepers who cared enough to respond to you is the Wisdom you need to "Proceed with your Life!" Doc

Can't be underestimated.
Many here really care.

[Jorge]

When I first had to learn to live alone...it was really hard.....I would have panic and anxiety attacks and have to get out of the house, because I couldn't stand being there alone.

It was awful.

Having to go food shopping by myself and for myself was really difficult.. sometimes I would just break down crying in the middle of a supermarket and have to leave without buying anything.

I took me a while to learn that no relationship was really better than a bad relationship..at least when it comes to the home-front.

Time has really changed things.

I am now so spoiled from being able to have my own way...being able to do exactly what I want to do...when I want... and not having to compromise with anyone.... I love having a place that is mine...and mine alone.
I can always go out and be around people when I want..if I really want....but it is nice to know I have my own place to escape to...it's great and I love it.

Funny...considering for years..I thought I would just die if I ever had to live alone!

[SCREWBY]

yeah, well maybe if you didn't spend so much time on the computer, you'd still be with her.

[BJungNan]

Been there, done that. It really hurts. It's really lonely and painful. But it passes. The legal ramifications linger longer than the hurt. I sympathize and wish you well.

Been there also, done that also. Yea, it hurt. Lonely, yes. But, you do definately get over it.

As far as the legal ramifications, that depends. If you let a lawyer get you into an asset consuming "War of the roses" it will be. Be smarter than that. Get a paralegal to work out the paperwork and negotiate the rest yourselves. Shark lawyers will do anything to keep you fighting, anything for money no matter who they hurt or how badly they hurt them.

Lawyers are the lowest scum there is. The only people lower than lawyers are the people that send out recorded telemarketing calls at 7:00 on a Sunday evening.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Agreed. 48 hours is a bit unrealistic to expect someone to 'snap out of it'. You need to go through all the stages of mourning now or it will catch up with you later. That being said, you need to be on your toes and make sure your grieving doesn't extend for months or a year from now. That would be unhealthy. First, TOMORROW, go to the bank and change your accounts. DO NOT let her have any access to your money! Long story short, I did not change my own accounts for several months after my own separation. My ex was a 'nice guy' or so I thought. After a few months I started noticing money disappearing from my accounts and then everything in my savings disappeared. Apparently, he needed some money to take his new girlfriend on vacation. Moral of this story is, you will learn more about your ex in a divorce than you ever dreamed. Get a lawyer. Change your place of residence. Exercise your body and your mind. Develop a support system of friends (not on the Internet) with whom you can bring some laughs, adventure and fun back into your life. Don't let yourself get into a rut or the black hole of depression. Get a therapist if you have to. Get out of the house and socialize. Remember, your thoughts will create your destiny!

[Alwayswatching]

I love your spirit!Life happens..you can either sink or swim!I know I've been there! To allow yourself the option of not participating,is not an option!Get up,Breathe and get on with it!What other option does one have?? There is true shame in not trying..there is no shame in trying and failing..try again!. Butch Up New Horizon..and love those kids until they are sure they are loved!

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

And print out these threads. Cut out your favorite responses and put them on the bathroom mirror, refrigerator, wherever to remind yourself of what you need to do!

[mickie]

What has happened to New Horizon?
He has not responded to any of the posts since he started this thread.

[shaggy eel]

,,, he's either had enough to think about from our input or had enough of the psychological panelbeating.